Self Portrait XVII

Today is one of those days that makes you think of England - puffy white clouds, blue skies, no planes. My friend James has been stranded in Moscow this past week so he flew from there to Rome then five trains later, home. Many others remain stuck like the British youth fencing team in Beijing who have been there since Thursday and told the next rescheduled flight to Briton is May 4th. Radio 4 reports that the team is training in the morning and organising cultural activities during the day. Hope they like noodles. Still, things are slowly improving and certain zones re-opening to commercial flights after Air France bravely flies one flight through the haze. KLM tries seven. Bingo! Let's fly, baby. For my part, I check London's weather quality daily which, strangely, remains pure. A little investigation provides a surprising piece of data: according to the Nordic Volcanological Institute at the University of Iceland, Eyjafjallajoekull is emitting 150,000 tons of carbon a day into the atmosphere compared to 344,109 tons by the European aviation industry (source: USGS, BBC, EEA). Over 200,000 tons of CO2 saved by grounding 60% of European airlines. Go figure. This is not entirely fair, though, since the analysis does not include sulphur or methane which are major contributors to the greenhouse effect but still. Recall that since the Industrial Revolution human beings have dumped one-half trillion tons of CO2 into our atmosphere and will do so again inside 25 years.

"Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people."

--Carl Sagan

CDOs And CDSs

Back to Goldman. In the early '90s, I recall, Collateralized Debt Obligations or "CDOs" were taking off on the continuation of mortgage bond market pioneered by Lewie Ranieri the mighty First Boston in 1987 or '88. Back then, "jumbos" and "subprime" strange words but not evil. CDOs are, in theory, an investment-grade security backed up by a 'pool' of low-risk bonds or loans or other assets of different maturities and credit quality. The pool generates cashflows from principal and interest payments, which can be chopped (or tranched) allowing investors various exposures to different risks and returns. The originator, like bank or thrift, could efficiently move the asset, such as a mortgage, from its balance sheet reducing the need to reserve cash to offset a possible default. This new market offered unheard of liquidity benefitting companies and home-owners alike.

By the 90s, hot shot traders realised CDOs highly unlikely to fail as the underlying issuer companies like GE. Triple A, dude. Still, defaults could happen and banks wanted insurance - enter credit default swaps. A CDS guarantees a credit on the issuer so, for instance, should GE fail the owner of a CDS still receives his payments. CDS sellers earn a premium with little worry (they thought) of a default-inducing-payout; and they issued these securities with no money down. In short, the ultimate ATM until, that is, the crash. Firms like Bear Stearns and Merrill Lynch made billions issuing and trading CDSs. Commercial banks, for their part, sold and bought CDSs so when the the musical chairs stopped, they owned a net position. Pure sellers, like AIG, were caught unawares once the liabilities crystalised - this amounted to hundreds of billions of dollars they did not have.

So now it gets tricky. By '07, CDOs were mostly a cash market, ie, backed by principal and interest payments from the collateral (bonds). By '07, over 80% of CDOs synthetic. In a synthetic CDO, the bank holds a portion of the reference portfolio (the "stump") instead of selling it off to investors. With a cash CDO, banks transfer the risk to another party through the sale of the assets; however, in a synthetic CDO, banks keep the assets on their balance sheet and purchase protection through a CDS to transfer the risk away to another party. Banks do this today to manage their cash position - it is a "hedge." In the unlikely event the SEC decides that CDS a ponzi scheme and declares them illegal, a large chunk of your banks balance sheet will vaporise.

So why did AIG not protect itself and how is Goldman somehow involved? AIG believed a CDS like any insurance policy where a payout event, like death, non-correlated. My dying has little baring on your dying, for example. Bonds are different: if a bond fails, other, similar, bonds are highly likely to fail.. and their risk of failure becomes exponential. The first defaults in '08 triggered an avalanche of destruction for most, excluding .. Goldman Sachs. As Gretchen Morgenson at the NYTs noted, Goldman, and no other Wall Street firm, was involved in the AIG rescue talks and an AIG failure would have created a hole as big as $20 billion on Goldman's balance sheet as they purchased CDSs from AIG. Instead, they were made whole while Lehman Bros., also sellers of CDSs like AIG, allowed to collapse. Goldman also made money with Paulson & Co on CDS by allowing Paulson, the counter-party, to assist in the creation of a portfolio that Goldman marketed to its clients without informing them Paulson (A) helped construct the portfolio and (B) was shorting it. More will come out.

Sunday News

This photo from several years ago at Bournemouth in Dorset. In the far distance, at the top of the image, is the Isle of Weight.

Travel chaos continues and the British airports remain shut until tomorrow morning and perhaps the end of next week. The volcano has worsened while wind-flows fail to remove the ash cloud. There are 1 million Brits stranded somewhere unable to get home. Us, we take advantage of the warm weather to go to Richmond Park for a picnic. I read the Sunday papers while Sonnet plays Frisbee with the kids. Eitan's KPR seals their division title by defeating the Isleworthians 1-nil in a game notable for blood: one of theirs has his front tooth knocked out in a mid-field collision. Poor lad. The physical game sees all sorts of tackles (in European football, this means a slide tackle) and Eitan earns side-line whistles when he connects with 'studs up.' This the sort of thing that gets a Yellow Card in the professional leagues (later he tells me: "I was feeling a bit frustrated which is why I did that"). Whoever thinks soccer not a physical game sorely mistaken. Next year, KPR will move into Division One.

Driving in Richmond Park: "Dad! There's Joe! Stop the car"

Me: "There is no parking"

Eitan: "Aw, I would have loved to see Joe."

Madeleine, whispers: "Are you g-a-e?"

Sonnet: "There is nothing wrong with being G-A-Y."

Me: "Madeleine, do you like gals or guys?"

Madeleine: "Neither, dad!"

Me: "What about that boy in year 6? You said you were in love with him."

Madeleine: "Did not!" (Eitan sniggers)

Me: "Or how about Kenny? You were definitely in love with Kenny."

Madeleine: "I am no longer listening to you, Dad."

The Tower And Torture

The gang re-unions at the Tower of London. The last time I was here was in November '97 with some visiting friends and Alex and Spencer, who shared our first Thanksgiving shortly later. Alex on the fast-track at JP Morgan and Spencer a hedge-fund investor; both are now retired, living in Connecticut with their three kids. Back then, we drank martinis and thought, wow, London. How sad when they left us after two years.

But, dear me, I digress. Eitan enthusiastic to meet the "Beef Eaters" while the kids learn about England's medieval hanging, drawing and quartering described as "a spectacularly gruesome" and public torture saved for the most "heinous of murder" and treason; it was applied only to men while women burned at the stake (changed to hanging by the Treason's Act of 1790). Women were lucky. The convicted men were (1) drawn or dragged on a hurdle (a wooden frame) to the place of execution; then (2) hanged by the neck for a short time or until almost dead; and finally (3) the body beheaded, then divided into four parts (quartered). Typically, the condemned were disemboweled and emasculated, the severed genitalia and entrails burned in front of the victim, before the final, fatal, beheading after which the resulting five parts (ie, the four quarters of the body and the head) were "gibbeted" (put on public display) in different parts of the city, town, or, in famous cases, in the country to deter would-be traitors who had not seen the execution. After 1814, the convict was hanged until dead and the mutilation performed post-mortem. How nice. Gibbeting was later in 1843, while drawing and quartering ended in 1870 (source: George Neilson, "Drawing, Hanging and Quartering;" 1891).

A joke on Radio 4: A man in Colchester is accused of having sex with a horse and a donkey. The court does not release him on bail since he does not have a stable address.

Abacus 2007-AC1

Goldman Sachs accused, Air Space closed across Northern Europe, Big Brother comes to its end in Britain. Talk about a strange series of events to end the week, none of them, dear reader, could have been predicted - especially Goldman, given how deep they are in Washington's pockets (though some saw it coming when the firm moved to New Jersey. Hello? Tony Soprano?). We know about Goldman alums Hank Paulson and Robert Rubin running the economy and handing away tax-dollars but how about Michael Paese, a Barney Frank staffer who is now Goldman's top Washington Lobbyist? Paese's position formerly held by Mark Patterson who is now the current Chief of Staff at the Treasury. You don't have to be a genius to put those dots together. So here is the pig in the poke: John Paulson (no relation to Hank) knew the subprime market over-valued trash so he went to Wall Street to find a partner who could express his vision. Enter Goldman, who aided Paulson by building a portfolio of shit, Abascus 2007-AC1 and 100 other similar vehicles, which Goldman sold to unwitting pension funds who are the country's workers, families and grandparents. While the pensions anticipated a gain, Paulson bet against it and made $1 billion when Abascus value collapsed; Goldman also took part in the trade. Unlike Paulson, who made his views public, Goldman flogged their product as investment quality without informing their buying-clients that Paulson had selected some of the portfolio's securities. As one trader says, "this is like betting on penalty kicks and not knowing the other guy a goalie." What is surprising about all this that the SEC, who famously flubbed Madoff and, so far, has failed to identify one crooked arrow despite trillions lost since '08, finally shows some teeth going after the biggest bad-ass on the block. Could it be public pressure?

Meanwhile, the volcanic cloud over Britain halts air travel for a fourth day including my trip to Arizona and the Grand Canyon with Eric and Roger. From where I sit now, outside blogging, one would never know the ash - blue skies and warm sunshine, dude. I check London's air quality on the Internets: all clear. Iceland's air-traffic disruption worse than 9-11 and the first time ever travel has come to a similar grinding halt. Pity those poor souls trying to return to London: the Eurostar over-sold for days; ferries jammed and the Chunnel not taking new bookings until next week. In short, enjoy the holiday. One benefit: no planes overhead and the birds chirping.

And finally Big Brother, launched by entertainment company Endemol in the Netherlands and arriving in Britain the following year. By 2000, the entire country mesmerised by the idiocy of a bunch of morons trapped inside a habitrail making nasty. Of course we, the viewing public, empowered with the ability to boot the worst characters from the show. I recall walking in Maida Vale on a sunny day reading the dailies which all covered the final episode - the entire country Big Brother and I was just cluing in. Weird, man. Like those busted venture firms or crappy funded Internet companies (JustBalls.com any one?), Big Brother one awful hang-over from that indulgent period when people's ability to be mean and caddy went public. I saw this first hand with my piece-of-shit business partner, may her career RIP. So to Big Brother I say: Good bye and stay buried - and all you dumb schmucks who made it popular - may you own a bit of Abacus 2007-AC1. You deserve it.

Photo from Getty Images. Volcanic ash BTW consists of tiny, jagged particles of rock,minerals and volcanic glass. These fragments range in size from 0.0004 to 0.08 inches, or roughly the diameter of a grain of rice.

The Eye

Any blog from London at some point must include a description of the London Eye, one of the most surreal objects here or anywhere. It rises above the river with burnt South Bank, Lambeth and Southwark behind it. I snap this photo crossing Westminster Bridge on a clear, windy, night following a fancy, schmoozy, dinner at Whitehall honoring excellence in private equity. My friends at Astorg Partners take top-honours for France and we share a celebratory table. Bravo. The Eye, meanwhile, inspired by the Grande Roule which seems appropriate given my mates. It stands 135 meters and the largest Ferris wheel in Europe; it has become the most popular paid tourist attraction in the United Kingdom, visited by over three-million people each year. Good God. When built in '99, it was the world's tallest Ferris wheel, since surpassed by others, yet remains "the world's tallest cantilevered observation wheel" as the entire structure supported by an A-frame on one side only. Still Number One, people. Still Number One.

A spin around the wheel takes 30 minutes and each 'pod' carries 25 people, who queue for hours to see London from above. It is also popular with local companies who serve champagne and prawns wooing Chinese clients. Or such. The views are, indeed, splendid and uninterrupted when facing north until the BT Tower or City Centre then the Millbank Tower west. The building behind the Eye, lending some perspective, is the Shell Centre at 27-stories. The last time I took a turn with Bill and Martine.

"The Eye has done for London what the Eiffel Tower did for Paris, which is to give it a symbol and to let people climb above the city and look back down on it. Not just specialists or rich people, but everybody. That's the beauty of it: it is public and accessible, and it is in a great position at the hear of London."

--Sir Richard Rogers, architect

Passports

We have a family morning in town to renew our passports - here is the boy before the American Embassy, next to Grosvenor Square. Once upon a time, before 911, the Embassy open to the street and we strolled inside with no security. It is an administrative building, after all, and US soil since 1960 when the offices relocated from nearby Portland Place whose grounds now a private club popular with New Media during the go-go years. I hung out there once. Today, the Embassy a concrete monster consistent with the architectural style of that era when London awakening from the war and pouring concrete like nobody's business. In front of the Embassy is a statue of Eisenhower whose Supreme Headquarters of the Allied Expeditionary Force was kitty-corner to where I stand now taking Eitan's photo. By 2001, the building surrounded by road-blocks spread ten feet apart; by 2003, a steel gate, CCTV and entry check-points+police in Kevlar vests with machine guns. For final access, a US soldier sits behind a bullet-proof glass - his sole job to unlock the entrance door. He sits straight and looks directly at us. Before him yesterday, we pass security similar to any good airport and I must leave my wizzy gadgets with a guard. Sonnet brings water for the kids which I am asked to sample or spill. I drink. All this will one day be in the past, at least in Central London, for the Embassy will soon move.

After our passports, a fairly straight-forward process lasting maybe two hours, we have hot-chocolate and croissants ($50) and then to East Sheen (parking+congestion charge: $30). I spend my day in the office ringing my hands over the private equity fundraising business, down 70% last year, while Sonnet takes the kids into the park and other such playful things. As the sun sets near 7:30PM, I am home in time to run Eitan through some football drills before dinner. What am I doing here?

Eitan: "Dad, I just thought of a great name for a horror film."

Me:

Eitan: "It is 'I Thought The Game Was Over.'"

Me:

Eitan: "Or what about 'Friendless' (Eitan makes a grimacing face). 'Friendless.'"

Me:

Eitan: "I have another good one for an advertisement: 'What would happen if everything became chaos.'"

Me:

Eitan: "Or another one for a film: 'Dirty Blood.'"

Me: "Well, you certainly have a talent."

Madeleine reads from her hand: "Iceland is up top. And Britain is below her. France is next to Germany."

Me: "Well done. Why don't you get a piece of paper and draw a map?"

Madeleine: "No way" (she bolts the kitchen)

Me: "You are losing your chance."

Madeleine: "Of what?"

Me: "Impressing me."

She's gone.

Map

Chatting casually at the family dinner. Me: "Madeleine, where is Britain?"

Madeleine: "Well there is France. And then there is Italy with that island. And Britain is below that...."

Me: "Atlas, please."

Madeleine: "Oh, Dad. Not this again. You always ask me things I don't want to do!"

Me: "Well, you are going to know where you live."

Madeleine: "I don't care where I live. I only care that I am alive."

Me: "That is all very fine and dramatic but no Britain, no desert."

Madeleine, tears: "Noooo!"

Madeleine opens the Atlas and scans the index: "How do you spell Europe?"

Me: "Well, it is... but you want Britain. Or England."

Madeleine eventually locates Britain on page 48.

Me: "You had better remember that page."

Madeleine: "I am going to write it on my hand."

Me:

Madeleine: "I am going to draw Europe on my hand." Pictured.

Tommy Gun

Madeleine loves this hamster who, I admit, the cutest of the bunch we have so far enjoyed (I recall from my own yuf that hamsters are a trial-and-error sort of thing. They escape. They die. The pet store has an endless supply). On the week end, Madeleine brings Tommy downstairs 3-4X a day for a cuddle and the poor, shell-shocked, creature puts on a good face, being woken from its deep daily slumber. Yesterday, however, Tommy decides enough is enough and gets his front teeth into Madeleine's plump, middle, finger. All hell breaks loose as the poor kid screams - Sonnet and I bolt for her - then tears. Oh, sweet tears! We gently wash our darling's finger then sanitise and bandage the wound while soothing her anxiety. A trail of red blood follows us from Madeleine's bedroom to the sink. Poor child, innocence lost. Today, Madeleine unable to practice her trumpet since "my pushing finger" still hurts. The ramifications, dear reader, profound.

Madeleine reads from her book: "What does 'P U' stand for?"

Eitan: "Personal understatement?"

"Tommy gun - you ain't happy 'less you got one

Tommy gun - ain't gonna shoot the place up just for fun

Maybe he wants to die for his country

Maybe he wants to kill for his country

Whatever he wants, he's gonna get it"

--From 'Tommy Gun' by The Clash

Retard On Retard

Madeleine wears my shades in the park.

The political season in Britain is "open" with the next elections called for 7 May. For some time it looked like the Tory party would trounce Labour given Iraq and the financial crisis and all that but their numbers have fallen: according to today's Sunday Mirror/ComRes survey, the Tory lead over Labour is 7% (39% to 32%) - down from 25%+ in mid-2009; if the figures stand, the Tory party will fall 15 seats short of the 326 MPs they need to win power outright. "Hung" government, dude, the last thing we need. David Cameron, to his credit, is sure trying: he kick-started his campaign to be PM with two tax give-aways which us voters have pooh-poohed. The math worked out to, like, £3 per week for married couples. Yaaawwwn. To be sure, the vote is Cameron's to lose. Recall that the 1 May, 2008, local elections saw Labour suffer their worst result in 40 years finishing in third behind the torries and lib-dems with a projected 24% share of the national vote.

The good news about campaigning UK-style: it is only one-month. Politicians are otherwise prevented from fundraising and vote-getting which is much more sane way of doing things. The United States, of course, a two-year run-up at minimum - kinda like Christmas beginning in September. Or July. The downside to UK politics: it is not nearly as interesting. No Playboy Bunnies nor red neck Tea Parties; morons and dip shits and hypocrites exposed. Plus British politicians do not hate each other in the way our Democrats and Repubs do. Sure, there are insults and stuff but nothing like the Congress or Senate going at each other+the opposition party does not simply check out for political gain. For the record, I do hope the Republicans try to roll back Obama's health care - I will enjoy watching them eat dirt. Just look at that fool Mitt Romney who tries desperately to disown his same-plan for MA. And Sarah Palin? Run, baby, run!

"They are kooks, so I agree with Rush Limbaugh. Rush Limbaugh was using satire. I didn't hear Rush Limbaugh calling a group of people whom he did not agree with 'fucking retards,' and we did know that Rahm Emanuel, as has been reported, did say that. There is a big difference there."

--Sarah Palin explains, on Fox News, why it is okay for Rush Limbaugh to use the word "retard" while it is not Okay for Rahm Emanuel to use the word "retard." February 7, 2010

Golden Duck

Madeleine and I visit Richmond Park this morning to feed the ducks (or "the quackers" or "quacky quacks" as she once called them). This one smart enough to be away from the badelynge and I reward her with bread for being an entrepreneur. We do not have enough of these birds in our country and soon it may get worse as taxes go up and people bail. Jim Ratcliffe, for instance, the UK's most successful post-war entrepreneur is moving to Switzerland to escape Gordon Brown; Ratcliffe founded Britain's largest private company -- chemicals group Ineos in 1998 -- and is taking 20 of his execs with him. This will save him, and cost us, over £100MM but worse (for us) he will not try another company in Britain, taking his potential with him.

No doubt I hear rumblings of re-location from my group and this year we will see a number of our best friends leave London. For most ex-pats, there is an exodus after a couple of years when a rotation is up and before strong networks established; then again (we found) between five and seven years as permanency looms. Following seven the die usually cast: passports, property ownership, kids in Brit schools and, generally, a sense of citizenship. That is us, anyway.

Now we all do the math: 50% top-tax rate, (from April 6) £30,000 levy on non-domiciled tax payers and the cut in pension tax relief for those making more than £130K. HM Revenue and Customs threatens to tax more of our income earned over seas. Once, smart people came here because they trusted Britain's stability and relied on her promise not to soak the wealth from the economy's earners. This is by no means an inexpensive place to do business - London ranked 16th costliest in the world in '09 by Forbes, down from #3 due to Stirling's depreciation - yet there are many reasons to be here starting with a density of educated, specialist people in media, finance, arts and banking. They are also the most fluid and likely to leave. Will we bugger the Golden Goose?

"Things fall apart; the center cannot hold

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned

The best lack all conviction, while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity."

--William Butler Yeats

She Sells Sea Shells

Madeleine's visit to Exmouth scores a crab's shell, which she brings home to me: "I like that it is not a perfect shell. It is nice but not perfect. I don't like fancy shells. Well, I do like them, but I think this one is really cool." I agree with Madeleine - cool. This exoskeleton makes me think of something other-worldly which, perhaps, is fair since the first crab fossils date from the Jurassic. This one, pictured, about the size of my hand while the smallest, a pea crab, a few millimetres wide. The Japanese spider crab, on the other hand, has a leg span of four-meters.

Madeleine: "I have spring fever!"

Sonnet: "What does that mean?"

Madeleine: "It is when you really want to do something now."

Sonnet: "What do you want to do?"

Madeleine: "Run around in Richmond Park and be crazy and be free."

Tube And Arab

My friend from the go-go years, Azeem Azhar, takes this photo using a Helga Viking lens, 'float' film without a flash. Way cool.

So here is my weird Underground factoid which, dear reader, I consider more often than sometimes when on the tube: the record for visiting all 275 stations is 18 hours, 35 minutes and 43 seconds. No kidding. It was done by Geoff Marshall from Epsom, Surrey, and Neil Blake from Deptford, south-east London, on September 28, 2004. They have kept their route secret, God bless.

My first commute in London originated from our flat in north-central Maida Vale: I caught the Bakerloo Line from the Warwick tube station (in Duffy's '09 Billboard top-ten hit "Warwick Avenue") to Oxford Circus then the Central Line to Chancery Lane and Botts & Company. The trains crowded and the transfer not pleasant - we marched long, florescent tunnels affronted by bill-board advertising and cinema posters. Sometimes a dude would read The Sun with its Page 3 girl - tits! - and I always thought: no shame? There are serious women in pantyhose on the trains. But The Sun is Britain's #1 daily so what did I know then (and now)? My favourite commute, BTW, several years later from Lauderdale Mansions (Maida Vale) to eZoka's offices, a strait shot from W9 boarding a route-master on Maida Vale Avenue to the Edgware Road (once a Roman thruway) to Nutford Place. This strange area, a few blocks north of Hyde Park's speaker's corner, most Arab. London perhaps Europe's most accommodating city and the Edgware Road where the wealthy Middle East comes during their summer when temperatures 35-degrees C or higher. From June to August it is also 24/7 and young people and men smoke hookahs, spilling onto the busy street from restaurants like Abu Zaad, Patogh and Beirut Express. Sonnet and I once had Friday dates at Lebanese Fatoush where I ate raw, spiced lamb and tabouli. These are good memories if not always the best times.

"I tried many times before, but not managed it because of the trains or injuring my knee."

--Geoff Marshall on setting the Tube record

Freedom And No Freedom

Spring has arrived and how quickly life cheers up. Here I am before an Anish Kapoor.

Since Sonnet in Devon with the kids, I spend my evenings with Tommy, drink red wine and read books. Does this make me an alcoholic? Probably so. My clothes piling up in the corner or on the bed post. The mornings are luxurious - two hours peace before going into the office .. whenever. The sunlight floods our bedroom from 6AM and, I must admit, I am feeling pretty good with myself. Last night I am out until past Midnight with Arnaud and his fiancee- we have dinner at a trendy Brazilian-Sushi restaurant in Chelsea - did you know that Brazil has the largest Japanese population outside of Japan? According to the IBGE, there is somewhere around 1.5 million Japanese in Brazil vs. 1.2 million in the US. Go figure. So .. Arnaud is from Paris and a fund investor whom I was with recently in Chantilly. He is clever and I respect his judgements of people and their situational circumstances. While most (and especially MBAs) consider themselves a good "read" of character, Arnaud is.

The Times reports that President George W Bush knew that hundreds of detainees held at Guantanamo Bay were innocent, but covered the fact up for political reasons. Retired Army Col. Lawrence B. Wilkerson, who served as chief of staff to Secretary of State Colin Powell, has testified that officials "knew that they had seized and were holding innocent men at Guantanamo." and "They simply refused to release them out of fear of political repercussions." The Times reports that Wilkerson's assertions are supported by General Powell. This inglorious period will not be remembered kindly by history. I sometimes wonder what it was like during McCarthyism or Vietnam, Watergate or other self-inflicted dark periods. Now I know.

"I discussed the issue of the Guantanamo detainees with Secretary Powell. I learnt that it was his view that it was not just Vice-President [Dick] Cheney and [Defense] Secretary [Donald] Rumsfeld, but also President Bush who was involved in all of the Guantanamo decision making.

--Lawrence Wilkerson

Kumon. Always Kumon

Madeleine has worked hard at Kumon, pictured, for at least several years and has shown great progress now doing long-multiplication. We hope, at minimum, Kumon gives her confidence which neither Sonnet nor I had towards math as youngsters. Or adults, for that matter: I was totally exposed on Wall Street. I squirmed when my worksheets proofed - what misery. I would wish to avoid the same awkwardness for Madeleine yet appreciate she, well, frankly, hates Kumon or, more generally, numbers. As a solution, we have reduced her daily practice by several pages which seems to have worked for the moment. Kumon goes all the way to calculus but I think we shall quit once Madeleine's maths foundation established. She would suggest the sooner, the better.

Hear My ...

Sonnet, now a full-time mom, takes the kids into town while I to work - here are the little dears, pictured, by Lord Nelson's column (Nelson being out-of-view) and a lion, one of three (NB: England's coat of arms, adopted in 1198, is three lions and a symbol of the kingdom and monarchs. In '95, the song "Three Lions" by the Lightening Seeds the official anthem for the England football team during the European Championships held in England). Roar. After visiting the National Portrait Gallery (Madeleine: "Not another museum! I go to a museum every day." Me: "When was the last time you went to a museum?" Madeleine: "The British Museum , like, three weeks ago." Me: "Ok, before that?" Madeleine: "Who cares Dad.") where they see Irving Penn Portraits, Sonnet heads to Chinatown for a late-lunch. Later, Madeleine brags about chicken's feet, which she orders on her own initiative with delight. She is a risk-taker, my daughter, and I love it.

The BBC reports on the 6PM news that four hedge-hogs are overweight and must be put on a diet. They are unable to "get into a ball." Seriously - I just listened to this.

Coco Rocks

Kellogg's "Coco Pops Coco Rocks," which seems kind of redundant to me, gets the kids out of bed early. Recall that I, in a moment of bon vivant, allowed the Shakespeares to celebrate the spring break with a cereal of their choice. They go "all in." The box has a bland computer generated image of a squarel with large, cartoon eyes, black nose and red tongue - all sickly seductive colours. He wears a baseball cap with a chocolate-coloured "C." For us, the responsible parent, the packaging presents a different message: 'source of fibre' - check. 'Fortified with vitamins and iron' - check. 'No added coulours' - double check. 'Multi-grain made with four gains' - check, check, check! Meanwhile Madeleine squeals that there is "chocolate filling" in the Coco Pops Coco Rocks and this makes me wonder: what the hell is this cereal made of? Again, the helpful packaging:; Cereal Flours (Maize [33%]), Oat (9%), rice (7%), wheat (6%), sugar, Chocolate Flavour Filling (14%)(Sugar, Vegetable Oil, Fat Reduced Cocoa Powder, Cocoa Mass, Skimmed Mile Powder); Milk Whey Powder, Emulsifier, Glucose Syrup, Cocoa Powder, Chocolate (3.5%), Salt, Tricalcium Phosphate, Calcium Carbonate, Sodium Bicarbonate, Flavouring, Antioxidant (Ascorbyl Palmitate, Alpha Tocopherol), Niacin, Iron, Vitamin B6, Riboflavin (B2), Thiamin (B1), Folic Acid, Vitamin B12.

I don't know what half of it is though I imagine somebody had a whale of a time in the lab inventing this shit. I wonder if the rats ate it? Eitan and Madeleine sure do.

"I can't believe parents don't like them."

--Eitan

Broccoli

Madeleine leaves the worst for last and tonight that means broccoli. I promise her "no desert" unless her plate clean and she calculates exactly how much she must finish to the nibble (pictured). Joe joins us today, a bank holiday, and with Eitan we kick the ball around until dinner time, but not before they and Madeleine chase water rowers on the pond. Joe's family is off for Spain tomorrow while Sonnet and the kids to Devon Wednesday to visit Halley. Two weeks, no school. Ah, yes, to be a kid.

Mike Troy

My photo of Mike Troy at the Heather Farms swimming complex in Walnut Creek, California, in 1983. Mike was my coach before college when I competed with the Walnut Creek Aquabears for several seasons. Back then, the men and women's teams won Jr Nationals and Top-5 for Seniors. We had guys like Dave Bottom who won NCAA titles in the backstroke and set American records (Dave's brothers Mike and Joe legendary swimmers from the '70s); crazy John Miranda, a world class sprinter in fellow NorCal Matt Biondi's shadow; and 12-year old Lisa Dorman who, by 16, was a four-time US National Champion, member of several US National Teams, Pan Pacific Champion, 1986 World Championship finalist, and consistently ranked among the world's top 25 from '82 until '90.

For us kids in the East Bay, Walnut Creek a posh suburb through the Caldecott Tunnel and beyond Lafayette (where Grace taught Montessori) and Concord-Pleasant Hill, which had its own successful swimming program. Before age-16 and without a driver's license, I commuted: home to Shattuck Ave. and Center on the No. 7 (now 67) bus then BART to the Rockridge station and finally a highway off-ramp pick-up to the pool. In all, a 1.5 hour job four-times a day beginning at 4:45AM (oh, boy, do I see this story growing like the ten-mile school walk but it is true, I swear). I eventually avoided half the travel by spending the day in Walnut Creek with my swim pals watching MTV, eating donuts, and doing nothing much else. We could have easily been stoners. My and Katie's first car changed everything (thank you again, mom and dad). More on that later.

Mike Troy was a tough-as-nails coach who loved his squad. He oversaw 250 swimmers divided by skill and endurance (sprint or distance, where I fell. Woe's me). Troy barked orders and roamed the poolside, clip-board to hand, rain or shine. He often made the girls on the team cry-- nobody thought this unusual. Fellow distance swimmer Chuck Goetschel would bang his hand on the concrete to demonstrate injury to get out of practice; he otherwise never missed a work-out. "Hell week" during the summer and Xmas holidays saw 20,000 yards of swimming - 11 miles! - a day. Troy had a wonderful Carmengia sports car (nicknamed "The Geek") and he would point at me or Beach or Frick and shout: "Do that time and The Geek is yours for the week end!" We hustled.

Before coaching, Mike Troy broke the world record in the 200-meter butterfly five consecutive times from 1959 to 1961. He won two gold medals at the 1960 Summer Olympics in Rome in the 200-meter butterfly and the 4X200 freestyle relay. After graduating Indiana University (he was an NCAA champion and school Hall Of Famer) Troy become a naval officer and went to BUD/S, or the Navy Underwater Demolition/SEALS. He was awarded for distinguished and heroic service in Vietnam. As a swim coach, Troy has developed many age group, junior and senior champions; over fifty of his kid swimmers have been on national and international teams, including four swimmers that he coached to the Summer Olympics. Troy is a member of the International Hall of Fame (1971) and the first swimmer on the cover of Sports Illustrated (August, 1960).

"I miss your face."

--Mike Troy in a letter to me in Geneva, 1983

Love

The kids pose for next year's Christmas photo. Not.

Somehow our winter ends this afternoon with gorgeous blue skies and lazy cumulus clouds floating overhead. The sun lingers in a friendly way on our horizon until 7:30PM. I think of the Beatles who, frankly, are always on my mind. In the sunshine, the temps ten-degrees warmer and Sonnet and I bask in the glory while the kids race about the playground, Primrose Hill. This is familiar ground though some time since our last visit. The Shakespeares beg me to catch them and I oblige, darting around startled mothers and swing sets. They squeal delight until I do not relent and Eitan freaks out: "leave me alone, Dad. I have had enough." Scott and Daniel join us with their twins, Sam and Leo, who are 18 months old. They arrive on bikes, one with a hi-tech contraption to transpo the kids. They used to have a Mercedes twin-seater lovingly named the "black bitch" but no more. Family will do that to you.

Me: "It is always good for your mother and I to get feedback. Like when you are happy with something, say 'good job' or if your are upset, that, too."

Madeleine: "Can I have a dog?"

Me: "Let me give you some feedback: no."

Easter Passover

We spend Easter Sunday in Primrose Hill with Dana and Nathan and their clan, hunting for eggs and eating glazed ham. Dana expecting #3 in June and her energy level amazing. How does she do it? Nathan flips Madeleine around to her and Eitan's delight. They are the guardians to our kids.

Tomorrow the last day of Passover. Moe tells me that when he was a youngster, his Grandparents hosted Cedar for 35 guests and the three hour ceremony entirely in Hebrew. Moe's Grandfather immigrated to America from Prussia to escape the pograms of the 1890s. He entered via Ellis Island (we are not sure whether his wife came by this route or in America already). My Great Grandparents orthodox Jews and I wonder - why St. Louis? Stay tuned.

"Get Out Of Bed. It's Easter."

I am muscled from bed this morning by Madeleine, who wishes to show me her and Eitan's Easter gift which I stumble over on my way to coffee. Before our bedroom door on grey construction paper with a few objects and one handmade paper airplane: "Dear Dad, Happy Easter. Have a great time with mum and us. Enjoy the presents I made for you. Make the most of having more time with us. Best wishes, Eitan."