A Very British Island

Given the All-British Bank Holiday Monday miscue and feeling a bit, well, forgotten thanks to the US elections, here is a short-list of where the United Kingdom ranks:
Number one globally: Grand Prix winners
Second: per capita global aid
Third: obesity
Fourth: scientific literacy
Fifth: radios owned
Sixth: beer consumption

We also have the Queen and stirling, which has fallen like a brick since the financial collapse (but the "£" is still cool). The BBC is world-class and dear: I must pay £120 for a yearly license on five channels which bombard me with advertising - Radio 4 makes up for it. The Thames is a proper tidal river - not like the "skinny legs" on the Seine. Our parliament kicks ass and of course London, where everybody wants to live. It is easy to make fun of a cockney accent whilst Oxford and Cambridge are better (for now) than the Ivy League. The Beatles and Stones. Ozzie and Vivianne. The V&A and British Museum. Elgin Marbles! Le Shakespeare. Hadrian's Wall and the Romans. Streets paved with gold, now melting underfoot. Portland stone. And loads and loads of history. It is inescapable: castles, bridges, monuments, battles and wars. Plus the decline which don't seem so bad in a country ranked the world's fourth richest (stay tuned, however - we have the highest consumer debt anywhere).

"When in doubt, go for the dick joke."
Robin Williams