Map

Chatting casually at the family dinner. Me: "Madeleine, where is Britain?"

Madeleine: "Well there is France. And then there is Italy with that island. And Britain is below that...."

Me: "Atlas, please."

Madeleine: "Oh, Dad. Not this again. You always ask me things I don't want to do!"

Me: "Well, you are going to know where you live."

Madeleine: "I don't care where I live. I only care that I am alive."

Me: "That is all very fine and dramatic but no Britain, no desert."

Madeleine, tears: "Noooo!"

Madeleine opens the Atlas and scans the index: "How do you spell Europe?"

Me: "Well, it is... but you want Britain. Or England."

Madeleine eventually locates Britain on page 48.

Me: "You had better remember that page."

Madeleine: "I am going to write it on my hand."

Me:

Madeleine: "I am going to draw Europe on my hand." Pictured.

Tommy Gun

Madeleine loves this hamster who, I admit, the cutest of the bunch we have so far enjoyed (I recall from my own yuf that hamsters are a trial-and-error sort of thing. They escape. They die. The pet store has an endless supply). On the week end, Madeleine brings Tommy downstairs 3-4X a day for a cuddle and the poor, shell-shocked, creature puts on a good face, being woken from its deep daily slumber. Yesterday, however, Tommy decides enough is enough and gets his front teeth into Madeleine's plump, middle, finger. All hell breaks loose as the poor kid screams - Sonnet and I bolt for her - then tears. Oh, sweet tears! We gently wash our darling's finger then sanitise and bandage the wound while soothing her anxiety. A trail of red blood follows us from Madeleine's bedroom to the sink. Poor child, innocence lost. Today, Madeleine unable to practice her trumpet since "my pushing finger" still hurts. The ramifications, dear reader, profound.

Madeleine reads from her book: "What does 'P U' stand for?"

Eitan: "Personal understatement?"

"Tommy gun - you ain't happy 'less you got one

Tommy gun - ain't gonna shoot the place up just for fun

Maybe he wants to die for his country

Maybe he wants to kill for his country

Whatever he wants, he's gonna get it"

--From 'Tommy Gun' by The Clash

Retard On Retard

Madeleine wears my shades in the park.

The political season in Britain is "open" with the next elections called for 7 May. For some time it looked like the Tory party would trounce Labour given Iraq and the financial crisis and all that but their numbers have fallen: according to today's Sunday Mirror/ComRes survey, the Tory lead over Labour is 7% (39% to 32%) - down from 25%+ in mid-2009; if the figures stand, the Tory party will fall 15 seats short of the 326 MPs they need to win power outright. "Hung" government, dude, the last thing we need. David Cameron, to his credit, is sure trying: he kick-started his campaign to be PM with two tax give-aways which us voters have pooh-poohed. The math worked out to, like, £3 per week for married couples. Yaaawwwn. To be sure, the vote is Cameron's to lose. Recall that the 1 May, 2008, local elections saw Labour suffer their worst result in 40 years finishing in third behind the torries and lib-dems with a projected 24% share of the national vote.

The good news about campaigning UK-style: it is only one-month. Politicians are otherwise prevented from fundraising and vote-getting which is much more sane way of doing things. The United States, of course, a two-year run-up at minimum - kinda like Christmas beginning in September. Or July. The downside to UK politics: it is not nearly as interesting. No Playboy Bunnies nor red neck Tea Parties; morons and dip shits and hypocrites exposed. Plus British politicians do not hate each other in the way our Democrats and Repubs do. Sure, there are insults and stuff but nothing like the Congress or Senate going at each other+the opposition party does not simply check out for political gain. For the record, I do hope the Republicans try to roll back Obama's health care - I will enjoy watching them eat dirt. Just look at that fool Mitt Romney who tries desperately to disown his same-plan for MA. And Sarah Palin? Run, baby, run!

"They are kooks, so I agree with Rush Limbaugh. Rush Limbaugh was using satire. I didn't hear Rush Limbaugh calling a group of people whom he did not agree with 'fucking retards,' and we did know that Rahm Emanuel, as has been reported, did say that. There is a big difference there."

--Sarah Palin explains, on Fox News, why it is okay for Rush Limbaugh to use the word "retard" while it is not Okay for Rahm Emanuel to use the word "retard." February 7, 2010

Golden Duck

Madeleine and I visit Richmond Park this morning to feed the ducks (or "the quackers" or "quacky quacks" as she once called them). This one smart enough to be away from the badelynge and I reward her with bread for being an entrepreneur. We do not have enough of these birds in our country and soon it may get worse as taxes go up and people bail. Jim Ratcliffe, for instance, the UK's most successful post-war entrepreneur is moving to Switzerland to escape Gordon Brown; Ratcliffe founded Britain's largest private company -- chemicals group Ineos in 1998 -- and is taking 20 of his execs with him. This will save him, and cost us, over £100MM but worse (for us) he will not try another company in Britain, taking his potential with him.

No doubt I hear rumblings of re-location from my group and this year we will see a number of our best friends leave London. For most ex-pats, there is an exodus after a couple of years when a rotation is up and before strong networks established; then again (we found) between five and seven years as permanency looms. Following seven the die usually cast: passports, property ownership, kids in Brit schools and, generally, a sense of citizenship. That is us, anyway.

Now we all do the math: 50% top-tax rate, (from April 6) £30,000 levy on non-domiciled tax payers and the cut in pension tax relief for those making more than £130K. HM Revenue and Customs threatens to tax more of our income earned over seas. Once, smart people came here because they trusted Britain's stability and relied on her promise not to soak the wealth from the economy's earners. This is by no means an inexpensive place to do business - London ranked 16th costliest in the world in '09 by Forbes, down from #3 due to Stirling's depreciation - yet there are many reasons to be here starting with a density of educated, specialist people in media, finance, arts and banking. They are also the most fluid and likely to leave. Will we bugger the Golden Goose?

"Things fall apart; the center cannot hold

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned

The best lack all conviction, while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity."

--William Butler Yeats

She Sells Sea Shells

Madeleine's visit to Exmouth scores a crab's shell, which she brings home to me: "I like that it is not a perfect shell. It is nice but not perfect. I don't like fancy shells. Well, I do like them, but I think this one is really cool." I agree with Madeleine - cool. This exoskeleton makes me think of something other-worldly which, perhaps, is fair since the first crab fossils date from the Jurassic. This one, pictured, about the size of my hand while the smallest, a pea crab, a few millimetres wide. The Japanese spider crab, on the other hand, has a leg span of four-meters.

Madeleine: "I have spring fever!"

Sonnet: "What does that mean?"

Madeleine: "It is when you really want to do something now."

Sonnet: "What do you want to do?"

Madeleine: "Run around in Richmond Park and be crazy and be free."

Tube And Arab

My friend from the go-go years, Azeem Azhar, takes this photo using a Helga Viking lens, 'float' film without a flash. Way cool.

So here is my weird Underground factoid which, dear reader, I consider more often than sometimes when on the tube: the record for visiting all 275 stations is 18 hours, 35 minutes and 43 seconds. No kidding. It was done by Geoff Marshall from Epsom, Surrey, and Neil Blake from Deptford, south-east London, on September 28, 2004. They have kept their route secret, God bless.

My first commute in London originated from our flat in north-central Maida Vale: I caught the Bakerloo Line from the Warwick tube station (in Duffy's '09 Billboard top-ten hit "Warwick Avenue") to Oxford Circus then the Central Line to Chancery Lane and Botts & Company. The trains crowded and the transfer not pleasant - we marched long, florescent tunnels affronted by bill-board advertising and cinema posters. Sometimes a dude would read The Sun with its Page 3 girl - tits! - and I always thought: no shame? There are serious women in pantyhose on the trains. But The Sun is Britain's #1 daily so what did I know then (and now)? My favourite commute, BTW, several years later from Lauderdale Mansions (Maida Vale) to eZoka's offices, a strait shot from W9 boarding a route-master on Maida Vale Avenue to the Edgware Road (once a Roman thruway) to Nutford Place. This strange area, a few blocks north of Hyde Park's speaker's corner, most Arab. London perhaps Europe's most accommodating city and the Edgware Road where the wealthy Middle East comes during their summer when temperatures 35-degrees C or higher. From June to August it is also 24/7 and young people and men smoke hookahs, spilling onto the busy street from restaurants like Abu Zaad, Patogh and Beirut Express. Sonnet and I once had Friday dates at Lebanese Fatoush where I ate raw, spiced lamb and tabouli. These are good memories if not always the best times.

"I tried many times before, but not managed it because of the trains or injuring my knee."

--Geoff Marshall on setting the Tube record

Freedom And No Freedom

Spring has arrived and how quickly life cheers up. Here I am before an Anish Kapoor.

Since Sonnet in Devon with the kids, I spend my evenings with Tommy, drink red wine and read books. Does this make me an alcoholic? Probably so. My clothes piling up in the corner or on the bed post. The mornings are luxurious - two hours peace before going into the office .. whenever. The sunlight floods our bedroom from 6AM and, I must admit, I am feeling pretty good with myself. Last night I am out until past Midnight with Arnaud and his fiancee- we have dinner at a trendy Brazilian-Sushi restaurant in Chelsea - did you know that Brazil has the largest Japanese population outside of Japan? According to the IBGE, there is somewhere around 1.5 million Japanese in Brazil vs. 1.2 million in the US. Go figure. So .. Arnaud is from Paris and a fund investor whom I was with recently in Chantilly. He is clever and I respect his judgements of people and their situational circumstances. While most (and especially MBAs) consider themselves a good "read" of character, Arnaud is.

The Times reports that President George W Bush knew that hundreds of detainees held at Guantanamo Bay were innocent, but covered the fact up for political reasons. Retired Army Col. Lawrence B. Wilkerson, who served as chief of staff to Secretary of State Colin Powell, has testified that officials "knew that they had seized and were holding innocent men at Guantanamo." and "They simply refused to release them out of fear of political repercussions." The Times reports that Wilkerson's assertions are supported by General Powell. This inglorious period will not be remembered kindly by history. I sometimes wonder what it was like during McCarthyism or Vietnam, Watergate or other self-inflicted dark periods. Now I know.

"I discussed the issue of the Guantanamo detainees with Secretary Powell. I learnt that it was his view that it was not just Vice-President [Dick] Cheney and [Defense] Secretary [Donald] Rumsfeld, but also President Bush who was involved in all of the Guantanamo decision making.

--Lawrence Wilkerson

Kumon. Always Kumon

Madeleine has worked hard at Kumon, pictured, for at least several years and has shown great progress now doing long-multiplication. We hope, at minimum, Kumon gives her confidence which neither Sonnet nor I had towards math as youngsters. Or adults, for that matter: I was totally exposed on Wall Street. I squirmed when my worksheets proofed - what misery. I would wish to avoid the same awkwardness for Madeleine yet appreciate she, well, frankly, hates Kumon or, more generally, numbers. As a solution, we have reduced her daily practice by several pages which seems to have worked for the moment. Kumon goes all the way to calculus but I think we shall quit once Madeleine's maths foundation established. She would suggest the sooner, the better.

Hear My ...

Sonnet, now a full-time mom, takes the kids into town while I to work - here are the little dears, pictured, by Lord Nelson's column (Nelson being out-of-view) and a lion, one of three (NB: England's coat of arms, adopted in 1198, is three lions and a symbol of the kingdom and monarchs. In '95, the song "Three Lions" by the Lightening Seeds the official anthem for the England football team during the European Championships held in England). Roar. After visiting the National Portrait Gallery (Madeleine: "Not another museum! I go to a museum every day." Me: "When was the last time you went to a museum?" Madeleine: "The British Museum , like, three weeks ago." Me: "Ok, before that?" Madeleine: "Who cares Dad.") where they see Irving Penn Portraits, Sonnet heads to Chinatown for a late-lunch. Later, Madeleine brags about chicken's feet, which she orders on her own initiative with delight. She is a risk-taker, my daughter, and I love it.

The BBC reports on the 6PM news that four hedge-hogs are overweight and must be put on a diet. They are unable to "get into a ball." Seriously - I just listened to this.

Coco Rocks

Kellogg's "Coco Pops Coco Rocks," which seems kind of redundant to me, gets the kids out of bed early. Recall that I, in a moment of bon vivant, allowed the Shakespeares to celebrate the spring break with a cereal of their choice. They go "all in." The box has a bland computer generated image of a squarel with large, cartoon eyes, black nose and red tongue - all sickly seductive colours. He wears a baseball cap with a chocolate-coloured "C." For us, the responsible parent, the packaging presents a different message: 'source of fibre' - check. 'Fortified with vitamins and iron' - check. 'No added coulours' - double check. 'Multi-grain made with four gains' - check, check, check! Meanwhile Madeleine squeals that there is "chocolate filling" in the Coco Pops Coco Rocks and this makes me wonder: what the hell is this cereal made of? Again, the helpful packaging:; Cereal Flours (Maize [33%]), Oat (9%), rice (7%), wheat (6%), sugar, Chocolate Flavour Filling (14%)(Sugar, Vegetable Oil, Fat Reduced Cocoa Powder, Cocoa Mass, Skimmed Mile Powder); Milk Whey Powder, Emulsifier, Glucose Syrup, Cocoa Powder, Chocolate (3.5%), Salt, Tricalcium Phosphate, Calcium Carbonate, Sodium Bicarbonate, Flavouring, Antioxidant (Ascorbyl Palmitate, Alpha Tocopherol), Niacin, Iron, Vitamin B6, Riboflavin (B2), Thiamin (B1), Folic Acid, Vitamin B12.

I don't know what half of it is though I imagine somebody had a whale of a time in the lab inventing this shit. I wonder if the rats ate it? Eitan and Madeleine sure do.

"I can't believe parents don't like them."

--Eitan

Broccoli

Madeleine leaves the worst for last and tonight that means broccoli. I promise her "no desert" unless her plate clean and she calculates exactly how much she must finish to the nibble (pictured). Joe joins us today, a bank holiday, and with Eitan we kick the ball around until dinner time, but not before they and Madeleine chase water rowers on the pond. Joe's family is off for Spain tomorrow while Sonnet and the kids to Devon Wednesday to visit Halley. Two weeks, no school. Ah, yes, to be a kid.

Mike Troy

My photo of Mike Troy at the Heather Farms swimming complex in Walnut Creek, California, in 1983. Mike was my coach before college when I competed with the Walnut Creek Aquabears for several seasons. Back then, the men and women's teams won Jr Nationals and Top-5 for Seniors. We had guys like Dave Bottom who won NCAA titles in the backstroke and set American records (Dave's brothers Mike and Joe legendary swimmers from the '70s); crazy John Miranda, a world class sprinter in fellow NorCal Matt Biondi's shadow; and 12-year old Lisa Dorman who, by 16, was a four-time US National Champion, member of several US National Teams, Pan Pacific Champion, 1986 World Championship finalist, and consistently ranked among the world's top 25 from '82 until '90.

For us kids in the East Bay, Walnut Creek a posh suburb through the Caldecott Tunnel and beyond Lafayette (where Grace taught Montessori) and Concord-Pleasant Hill, which had its own successful swimming program. Before age-16 and without a driver's license, I commuted: home to Shattuck Ave. and Center on the No. 7 (now 67) bus then BART to the Rockridge station and finally a highway off-ramp pick-up to the pool. In all, a 1.5 hour job four-times a day beginning at 4:45AM (oh, boy, do I see this story growing like the ten-mile school walk but it is true, I swear). I eventually avoided half the travel by spending the day in Walnut Creek with my swim pals watching MTV, eating donuts, and doing nothing much else. We could have easily been stoners. My and Katie's first car changed everything (thank you again, mom and dad). More on that later.

Mike Troy was a tough-as-nails coach who loved his squad. He oversaw 250 swimmers divided by skill and endurance (sprint or distance, where I fell. Woe's me). Troy barked orders and roamed the poolside, clip-board to hand, rain or shine. He often made the girls on the team cry-- nobody thought this unusual. Fellow distance swimmer Chuck Goetschel would bang his hand on the concrete to demonstrate injury to get out of practice; he otherwise never missed a work-out. "Hell week" during the summer and Xmas holidays saw 20,000 yards of swimming - 11 miles! - a day. Troy had a wonderful Carmengia sports car (nicknamed "The Geek") and he would point at me or Beach or Frick and shout: "Do that time and The Geek is yours for the week end!" We hustled.

Before coaching, Mike Troy broke the world record in the 200-meter butterfly five consecutive times from 1959 to 1961. He won two gold medals at the 1960 Summer Olympics in Rome in the 200-meter butterfly and the 4X200 freestyle relay. After graduating Indiana University (he was an NCAA champion and school Hall Of Famer) Troy become a naval officer and went to BUD/S, or the Navy Underwater Demolition/SEALS. He was awarded for distinguished and heroic service in Vietnam. As a swim coach, Troy has developed many age group, junior and senior champions; over fifty of his kid swimmers have been on national and international teams, including four swimmers that he coached to the Summer Olympics. Troy is a member of the International Hall of Fame (1971) and the first swimmer on the cover of Sports Illustrated (August, 1960).

"I miss your face."

--Mike Troy in a letter to me in Geneva, 1983

Love

The kids pose for next year's Christmas photo. Not.

Somehow our winter ends this afternoon with gorgeous blue skies and lazy cumulus clouds floating overhead. The sun lingers in a friendly way on our horizon until 7:30PM. I think of the Beatles who, frankly, are always on my mind. In the sunshine, the temps ten-degrees warmer and Sonnet and I bask in the glory while the kids race about the playground, Primrose Hill. This is familiar ground though some time since our last visit. The Shakespeares beg me to catch them and I oblige, darting around startled mothers and swing sets. They squeal delight until I do not relent and Eitan freaks out: "leave me alone, Dad. I have had enough." Scott and Daniel join us with their twins, Sam and Leo, who are 18 months old. They arrive on bikes, one with a hi-tech contraption to transpo the kids. They used to have a Mercedes twin-seater lovingly named the "black bitch" but no more. Family will do that to you.

Me: "It is always good for your mother and I to get feedback. Like when you are happy with something, say 'good job' or if your are upset, that, too."

Madeleine: "Can I have a dog?"

Me: "Let me give you some feedback: no."

Easter Passover

We spend Easter Sunday in Primrose Hill with Dana and Nathan and their clan, hunting for eggs and eating glazed ham. Dana expecting #3 in June and her energy level amazing. How does she do it? Nathan flips Madeleine around to her and Eitan's delight. They are the guardians to our kids.

Tomorrow the last day of Passover. Moe tells me that when he was a youngster, his Grandparents hosted Cedar for 35 guests and the three hour ceremony entirely in Hebrew. Moe's Grandfather immigrated to America from Prussia to escape the pograms of the 1890s. He entered via Ellis Island (we are not sure whether his wife came by this route or in America already). My Great Grandparents orthodox Jews and I wonder - why St. Louis? Stay tuned.

"Get Out Of Bed. It's Easter."

I am muscled from bed this morning by Madeleine, who wishes to show me her and Eitan's Easter gift which I stumble over on my way to coffee. Before our bedroom door on grey construction paper with a few objects and one handmade paper airplane: "Dear Dad, Happy Easter. Have a great time with mum and us. Enjoy the presents I made for you. Make the most of having more time with us. Best wishes, Eitan."

A Few Conversations

Madeleine: "Is Italy in Great Britain?"

Sonnet: "Oh, dear."

Me: "Madeleine, march into the living room and get the Atlas."

Madeleine: "That is so unfair."

Me: "Well, it is Italy or no desert."

Madeleine (waling): "There is 179 pages and each one of the them is a map. That will take ages!"

Me: "Madeleine, you can figure it out."

Madeleine, from the floor, Atlas open: "Do you spell Italy with an 'A' or an 'E'?"

Sonnet: "With an 'I.'"

Madeleine: "Then what?"

She finds Italy, and puts the Atlas away.

Me: "Do you know where Britain is?"

Madeleine: "Why do you ask?"

Me: "Atlas, please."

Madeleine: "Oh, Dad, not again! It is in Europe!"

Me: "One of the things I like about you is that you think outside of the box."

Madeleine: "I think outside of a fox?"

Me: "A box. What do you think that means?"

Madeleine: "I don't know."

Me: "Do you always follow the rules?"

Madeleine: "Not all the time."

Me: "There you go."

Eitan, listening to the wireless, pokes his head in: "Oh my God - Manchester City scored three goals against Burnley in the first seven minutes!"

Me: "Wow, that's like if they were playing KPR."

Eitan: "Well, not really."

Tiger Woods dalliances are reported, further, in Vanity Fair.

Me: "This Tiger Woods thing is so absurd."

Madeleine: "Why?"

Me: "He wanted us to believe one thing about him while the other thing true."

Madeleine: "What did he want you to believe?"

Me: "That he was squeaky clean and a family man. But he is not."

Madeleine: "Is his house clean?"

Photo by Madeleine.

Evil

I have mostly avoided following the scandal inside the Roman Catholic Church. I am not Christian nor raising my kids with any form of organised religion. I am forced, however, to re-consider this position as Sonnet notes the Catholic Church one of the largest land-owners in Europe and the Pope has the authority to meet with global leaders. The Pope is followed by millions of people around the world while Catholicism is the fastest growing religion in Africa and many developing countries. The scandal matters and the Church's knee-jerk response to hide paedophiles abhorrent and touches us all. Sonnet tells me the Priest who married her parents in Anchorage, Alaska, disappeared suddenly in the 1970s with no public explanation. Stan and Silver learned years later that he had been transferred to a clinic to "rehabilitate" himself after his abuse of children discovered. Presumably he remained in the Church for many years after if not today. In Germany, the cover-up of a priest systematically abusing 200 deaf children shocking in its evil. The Church responds by comparing the response to Catholics as similar to the persecution of the Jews. This so wrong-footed it beggars belief.

Photo from texasescapes.com

Tommy

Madeleine's hamster "Tommy" has proven a good one - at least, he has not escaped. Yet. Madeleine loves to bring Tommy downstairs to show our guests whenever a dinner party or whatever. She holds him like a Popsicle. Unfortunately Tommy's nocturnal gnawing like a Makita power tool grinding away lead based paint. Madeleine to our bedroom in tears, unable to sleep, so we allow her the guest room while Sonnet remarks: "Tommy has his own room."

5K

Every Saturday morning, 9AM, there is a 5K from Richmond Gate which we observe on our way to Eitan's football. Since no practice Easter week-end, the boy decides to to give the race a go and I join him for encouragement and exercise. There are maybe 200 runners from good (winning time around 16 minutes) to the punter. Like me. For his part, Eitan very serious and, at the bang!, off to a quick start despite being counselled by yours, truly, to pace one's self. I suppose everyone learns the hard way. By midway our pace reduced and I have to bite my tongue to not coach him on posture, breathing and etc. &c. I remind myself that Moe never over-stepped when Katie and I youngsters and now it is my turn to let Eitan figure things out or from somebody other than dear old dad. Wish me luck BTW. So, at the race's end, Eitan makes a dash and finishes with style. He is pleased with himself and notes - "no walking."

Sugar

Sonnet recalls Madeleine's pet pineapple, which she named "Perfect Piny." PP was in our house for some time until, Madeleine reminds us, we ate it. The kids now drive each other crazy at the kitchen table doing homework and Kumon (I blog and ignore). Eitan sings the latest Cheryl Cole whatever and Madeleine takes the bait: "Stop it Eitan! I am trying to read!" Eitan: "Go in the other room then." Madeleine: "YOU go in the other room!" and so on and so forth. Sonnet assembles an Easter egg kit for some distraction while the rain lets up for the moment but dark clouds threaten overhead. Sonnet notes: "today for lounging" and I agree.

Over lunch:

Me: "What are some accomplishments we took from last term?"

Eitan: "Um, Manchester United...."

Me: "I mean us. What are you proud of?"

Eitan: "The swimming gala. KPR (who won their division) and Battle Of The Books" (a competition at school).

Madeleine: "Math, hand-writing and my literacy teacher."

Me: "Those are all excellent things. Sonnet, I think the kids deserve some sugar cereal as a reward."

Sonnet:

Madeleine pumps arm: "Yes!"

Eitan: "I want the chocolate chip cookie cereal!"

Madeleine: "I want the one with all sorts of fruity loops."

Me: "You mean Fruit Loops?"

Madeleine: "Yes. And Captain Crunch."

Sonnet: