Beef Valley

Tweed Valley, a long, deep valley in Scotland sometimes called "Devil's Beeftub" or even "Devil's Beef Valley."

Me: "What did you learn in school?"

Madeleine: "We didn't actually do any real learning today."

Me: "Oh, really? What did you do?"

Madeleine: "We cooked."

Me:

Madeleine: "And we are studying everything there is to know about Scotland."

Me: "Cool, now we're talking. Where is Scotland?"

Madeleine: "I don't know. They didn't teach that yet."

Me:

Madeleine: "We learned about Devil's Beef Valley."

Me: "What's that?"

Madeleine: "It is where murderers hid beef. Stolen cows. I mean it is where murderers hid stolen cows."

Me: "You're kidding."

Madeleine: "Look it up on Google."

[Dad's note: I googled "Devil's Beef Valley" and, indeed, there is a "Devil's Beeftub" which, Travels In Scotland helpfully informs us, draws its name "as a popular (and safe) place to graze stolen cattle."]

"Beware Dog Around"

Madeleine takes it upon herself to warn robbers of Rusty - she is outside painting some wood after I decide that carving the message dangerous - using a thick marker on sticky labels, which now plaster the garden gate. Just wait 'til mom gets home.

I am in Paris yesterday and enjoy spring. Spring! Paris is the only place to be this time of year and I sit in Jardin Tuileries and sunbathe. I had scheduled time for a museum - maybe the Louvre or the Petit Palais - but I cannot be bothered.

I arrive home to find a banner draped across the hallway: "Welcome home Dad!"

Madeleine: "Can I take these scissors and cut Rusty's hair?"

Me: "No."

Madeleine: "It is getting long. Especially around his tail."

Me: "No way Madeleine."

Madeleine: "Don't you trust me?"

Me: "Of course I do. This has nothing to do with trust."

Madeleine: "You don't trust me. Well I am going to cut Rusty's hair."

Me: "Two words: Dead. Meat."

Madeleine: "Sheesh, Dad, stop looking at me that way."

Me: "Madeleine, do you think you will ever go on a date with a boy?"

Madeleine: "That was so random, Dad."

Me: "Well, what do you think?"

Madeleine: "How should I know? I'm not an outcast."

Me: "Well, if you do, make sure he treats you well."

Sonnet: "Hear, hear."

Madeleine:

Me: "And he has to bathe. I won't let anybody smelly in the house."

Madeleine: "Oh, Dad."

Me: "Only the best for you kiddo."

Madeleine: "If a robber tries to get in our house, and Rusty attacks him, will they [the humane society] kill Rusty?"

Me: "I don't think the robber has anything to worry about."

Madeleine: "But it is illegal for a dog to attack a robber."

Me: "If Rusty could talk, he would be, like, 'come on in and help yourself to the television.'"

Madeleine: "We have to warn the robbers. I know! I will put signs up! 'Dog Around' signs!"

Sonnet: "That is a great idea, Madeleine."

Me: "How about if we paint the sign on the house. Out in front?"

Madeleine: "Really?!"

Sonnet:

Oxford

Sonnet, who no longer seems exasperated with me, sends this photo of Eitan and Madeleine and the three Zs from this morning in Oxford.

It is Easter Sunday which, I am told by Radio 4's Gardner's Hour (on, in the background, as I do some gardening) is the business gardening day of the year.

Yuf

If you do a google image search for "British youth" the results produce under-age drunks, tarts and louts. Fine impression of today's yuf but that is not this blog.

Marshall's son graduated college yesterday and so I note, without much thinking, Oscar Wilde : "youth is wasted on the young"; Marshall replies: "It's not. Only it goes by too quick".

I love this, and other photos, by Hedi Slimane (born July 5, 1968 in Paris) who is a French fashion designer of Tunisian, Italian-Brazilian origins. Slimane studied political sciences (hypokhâgne prépa Sciences-Po), and Art History at the École du Louvre, and was also educated as a tailor. From 1992 to 1995 he worked for Jean-Jacques Picart, notably on the centenary exhibition of Louis Vuitton's "LV" monogramme label. This has given him access to the great and the good.

Concentration

Washington Trust helpfully tells us: "Effective financial coordination and management is the ultimate work product of a successful family office. Planning and follow through—short-term and long-term—can improve a family's overall financial legacy and maximize the advantages of its assets." What they are really saying is don't pay taxes.

Fair is fair but unfortunately in the United States it is not: according to the Survey of Consumer Finances (sponsored by the Federal Reserve), wealth is concentrated in the hands of a small number of families. The wealthiest 1 percent of families owns roughly 34.3% of the nation's net worth, the top 10% of families owns over 71%, and the bottom 40% of the population owns way less than 1%.

The distribution of wealth is much more unequal than the distribution of income, especially when focusing on the bottom 60% of all households. The bottom 60% of households possess only 4% of the nation's wealth while it earns 26.8% of all income (Data for 2004). Lest you think it is mobility that counts, this debunked by Stanford and other research which shows movement between quintiles more or less static : where you are born is mostly where you will stay in America.

And so I wonder: which is a better measure of societal inequality - wealth or income? Here is what (the discredited) Alan Greenspan said: "Ultimately, we are interested in the question of relative standards of living and economic well-being. We need to examine trends in the distribution of wealth, which, more fundamentally than earnings or income, represents a measure of the ability of households to consume."

Me And Rusty

After infuriating Sonnet by not going to Oxford this week-end, something she had planned for a while, I take Rusty for a loop of Richmond Park and now - delightedly- have the house to myself. Amen.

The hot afternoon has broken with thunderstorms and lightening. I am going to order pizza and stay up late watching TV.

A T E @ KOKO

Sonnet and I to Camden for Airborne Toxic Event. Beforehand we have a drink in Primrose Hill with Dana and Nathan and watch them juggle a whole lot of DNA - youngest Sierra nine months old. Dana walks us across the Regent's Canal, by Kate Moss's house, where we meet Simon and Sabi for the concert. Simon went to Uni nearby and, in his yuf, at Koko (then Camden Palace) every Friday or Saturday - Simon's dad was the CEO of EMI Film and Simon had a cool college job that gave him cred and some dough. He notes that his last time at Koko was '85 so, yes, we are on the older side of the averages but feeling young. After the show we go to a Spanish restaurant whose owner gently asks us to leave as we linger well beyond his last customer. A great evening.

Madeleine and I go for a walk in Richmond Park. Madeleine: "You know that pocket knife you gave me?"

Me: "Yes ."

Madeleine: "Where did it come from?"

Me: "Your grandfather gave it to you. Moe and I discussed the knife, which was very special to him. We thought you were ready for it."

Madeleine: "Was it his father's?"

Me: "It is a good question, I don't know. What are some of your other valuable things?"

Madeleine: "My microscope, the koala bear. Money. I have 105 pounds."

Me: "What is the most valuable thing you have?"

Madeleine: "Rusty?"

Me: "How about your genetic composition, love? You can make another human being just like you."

Madeleine: "Maybe if I have a kid I will give him my pocket knife."

Me: "So, Madeleine, after nine years what do you think of the world we live in?"

Madeleine: "It's kind of odd."

Me: "Yes?"

Madeleine: "Some places are good and other places are at war. I would like there to be more plants. And no one to kill animals. I would want it to be peaceful."

Me: "Do you like London?"

Madeleine: "No."

Me:

Madeleine: "It is too rowdy. I like Berkeley. I like San Francisco."

Me: "You and me both kid."

Semroc Astronautics

Madeleine and I assemble the Semroc "IQSY Tomahawk" which is a "1/10 semi-scale model, historical sounding rocket" which is "fun to build and fly" with "laser cut fins". My foray into rockets started with Berkeley neighbor Todd, four years older, and all that. Todd and I got ourselves into bugs and Star Trek and first-bikes, paper airplanes, tree forts, go-carts and .. model rockets. This would have been '77 or '78. Todd is now a firefighter in Chico and I am thrilled to rediscover an inch of my youth.

From the packaging:

"Semroc Astronautics Corp. was started by Carl McLawhorn in his college dorm at North Carolina State University in November, 1967. Convincing a small group of investors in his home town of Ayden, NC, to invest in a small corporation, the company was reincorporated as Semroc Astronautics on December 31, 1969.

Semroc produced a full line of model rocket kits and engines. At its peak, Semroc had twenty-five full time employees working at two facilities. One was for research and development, printing, shipping, and administration. The other was outside town and handled all production and model rocket engine manufacturing. For several years, Semroc was successful selling model rocket kits, supplies and engines by mail-order and in hobby shops. In 1971, Semroc became involvement and had to close its doors.

After 31 years of dreams and preparations, Semroc Astronautics Corporation was reincorporated on April 2, 2002, with a strong commitment to helping put the fun back into model rocketry."

Count Down

Well, be still my beating heart, we are inside one week of the Royal Nuptials. Bunting appears on the High Street; Kate's photo everywhere; the dailies cover the couple doggedly : The guest list! The Wedding Dress! The Final Shopping! The Honeymoon! Thank goodness Kate and Wills attractive since they will be in our house, like, every day for evermore. For all those grumpy anti-Royals, thank goodness Kate is no Fergie or her bug-eyed daughters. Or peaches.

Photo by Pippa Middleton's stolen camera.

Natco

Madeleine and Ava have a number of similarities easily noticed : tom boys, short hair cuts, same colour eyes. Similar disinclination for maths. Same taste in pajamas. Sonnet is Ava's Godmother and treats the crew to the V & A which, Halley whispers to Willem on the telephone: "was better than we expected."

Missing from my photo (Madeleine points out just now from over my shoulder) is the "Natco Dried Chillies" whose seed oil so hot it burns the mouth. The chilis unbearingly uncomfortable so I dare the kids to try a scrape and they do, screaming in pain. The container, in Hindu and English, suggests "Best used sparingly and handled with care." Madeleine wanted to include the jar in my photo.

Gone In A Wink

Madeleine has a hard time re-assembling Tommy's Habitrail after a cleaning. She asks for help and I tell her, angrily: "You will face adversity, even at your age, more challenging than a hamster cage" which makes her cry.

Imperial AT-AT Walker

This "Walker", super-imposed onto something that could be Europe in the last century, is pretty cool.

The AT-AT, or "All Terrain Armored Transport", designed to favor "fear over function", is manned by two men to drive the vehicle and can carry up to five speeder bikes and 40 Imperial stormtroopers. The walkers carry two blasters and two laser cannons. Manufactured by Kuat Drive Yards, Expanded Universe sources describe the AT-AT as being either 15 or 22.5 meters tall. Their armor is resistant to most standard blaster weapons; however, the "neck" column of the walker holds no such invulnerability and, if shot, can cause the entire walker to be destroyed. The AT-AT is the primary assault vehicle during the Battle of Hoth, first depicted in The Empire Strikes Back.

In the "Empire Strikes Back", the AT-ATs responsible for destroying the shield generator protecting the Rebel headquarters, taking out many soldiers, vehicles, and installations in the process. One walker destroyed when a Rebel Alliance Snowspeeder wraps a tow cable around the legs, causing its collapse. Another AT-AT destroyed by Luke, who damages critical systems underneath the walker with his lightsaber and a grenade. The AT-AT also makes a cameo appearance inReturn of the Jedi, where one guards a landing platform on Endor.

Source: "All Terrain Armored Transport (AT-AT walker) (Behind the Scenes)" . Star Wars Databank. Lucasfilm

"We know that dictators are quick to choose aggression, while free nations strive to resolve differences in peace. "

--President George Bush, September 21, 2004

Sonnet And Halley

Halley, Zoe and Ava join us for the pre-Easter run-up. Easter a Big Deal in the UK and tomorrow begins a four-day weekend. In fact, we are in "bank holiday" heaven with the next four weeks shortened+a bonus holiday thanks to Kate and Wills, God bless. An economist on Radio 4 tries to dampen our good vibe by suggesting that the lost productivity from not working will not help us reduce our national debt. As if.

I recall our 4th floor flat in Maida Vale which overlooked the other town houses. Each year this time a neighbor put her beach chair on the roof deck and, with reflective mirror, sunned herself.

The kids themselves up to the usual stuff: water fight, ManU game (Ava a Manchester United fan and Eitan accepts her despite her being in the enemy camp, ie, girl)+they walk Rusty, go to Richmond Green for an ice cream and lie in the grass.

Many of our friends on ski-holidays or to sunny climes; me, I am happy to water the plants and do some gardening. A few hours of work maybe. Tonight we will watch the final season of Mad Men recently released on DVD. Bliss, baby.

Tomato Sprouts

Eitan and I dive into veg and watch the hatchlings from seed. With care we transfer the sprouts from their incubator into larger pots protected from the outside, inside. The dog has murdered half our crop but we have hope.

And did you know ... tomatoes were not grown in England until the 1590s. One of the earliest cultivators was John Gerard, a barber-surgeon. Gerard's Herbal, published in 1597 and largely plagiarized from continental sources (like my blog here) is also one of the earliest discussions of the tomato in England. Gerard knew that the tomato was eaten in Spain and Italy. Nonetheless, he believed that it was poisonous (NB the plant and raw fruit do have low levels of tomatine, but are not generally dangerous). Gerard's views were influential, and the tomato was considered unfit for eating for many years in Britain.

By the mid-18th century, tomatoes were widely eaten in Britain, and before the end of the century, the Encyclopædia Britannica stated that the tomato was "in daily use" in soups, broths, and as a garnish. In Victorian times, cultivation reached an industrial scale in glasshouses, most famously in Worthing. Pressure for housing land in the 1930s to 1960s saw the industry move west to Littlehampton and to the market gardens south of Chichester. Over the past 15 years, the British tomato industry has declined as more competitive imports from Spain and the Netherlands have reached the supermarkets.

Getting Ready For Again

I'm in Green Park whose green space reduced to a postage stamp in preparation for the Royal Wedding -- as the reception at Buckingham Palace, the festive area will cover The Mall, St Jame's Park and Green Park. 

Large white tents, lighting and security installed and there are hundreds of worker bees preparing for the Big Day. Behind all this is, well, Kate Middleton - a "commoner" without aristocratic lineage. I am all for the fairy tale wedding BTW - why not enjoy it? 

 The country has a reason to celebrate itself and the next Royal couple will provide endless entertainment forevermore. Kate already occupies a small space in our collective waking conscious. She signed on for it.

"

In their first public appearance together following their February 1981 engagement announcement, Lady Diana Spencer and Prince Charles attend a Royal Opera benefit at London's Goldsmith Hall. Lady Diana shocks the crowd by appearing in a low-cut, strapless black taffeta evening gown. "Lady Di Takes the Plunge," screams the front page of The Daily Mirror, with splendid photos of "Shy Di" spilling out of her revealing gown."

Trio

We prepare for Passover - Eitan's blazer two inches too short on the sleeve so Madeleine adds it to her costume, which includes Eitan's dress trousers, school shoes and grey-turtle neck. They look like hobos. Just once I would like to see Madeleine in a dress but this has happened just once in the last three years : Diane's wedding. We pick up Sonnet at Hammersmith Station then Chiswick for dinner.

Bushy

The kids and I to the Hampton pool and, before that, a picnic in Bushy Park.

Sonnet joins the sofa during the ManU - Newcastle game.

Sonnet: "Ooo, fancy."

Eitan: "That's what they do, Mom. They pass the ball to each other."

Monday Morning

Aneta back to Czech for the week and today I am solo with the Shakespeares. It is sunny and warm so everybody in a good mood, 9AM. Eitan wants to go to the outdoor pool but Madeleine, who was on board initially, changes her mind (Madeleine: "I was not on board! I was never on board!"). We weigh the Barnes Wetland Center (Madeleine: "Yea!"; Eitan: "No!"), Kew Gardens (both: "naw"); Snakes and Ladders (Me: veto).

In the end, Madeleine relents re the pool in return for "a fizzy drink" and we are off.

Madeleine: "Dad, I have one-hundred eighty one pounds exactly."

Me: "Is that so?"

Madeleine: "And nothing to spend it on."

Marathon Sunday

And here we are again - the London Marathon - and trust me I am delighted to be watching the front-runners on the tele with my feet up (Photo from The Telegraph, last year, at Tower Bridge). Recall, Dear Reader, 2009 a disaster when it comes to marathoning : two races, one cow suit and a combined ten miles of soul destroying misery. Of my five races, I have not once finished running. Never say never, but another marathon highly unlikely - these days, seven miles pain-free a luxury.

The inaugural London marathon in'81 had 7,741 entrants, 6,255 of whom completed the race. The first Men's Elite Race was tied between American Dick Beardsley and Norwegian Inge Simonsen, who crossed the finish line holding hands in 2 hours, 11 minutes, 48 seconds. The first Women's Elite Race was won by Briton Joyce Smith in 2:29:57. Last year's race had 35,859 entrants with 35,268 finishing (this does not make me feel especially good as I bonked out at mile 25). This year there are over 37,000 runners.

Course records have been set eight times in the men's race and eight times in the women's race. World records have been set four times. Khalid Khannouchi, representing the United States, set the men's world record in 2:05:38 in 2002. The following year, Paula Radcliffe set the women's world record in 2:15:25, which stands today and may not be broken for twenty years - no woman has come within three minutes of Paula's time. Wanjiru set the men's course record at 2:05:10 in 2009 in the Men's Elite Race. This is 4:45 miling for 26 miles.

V&A Chandelier

I take this pic awaiting Sonnet. The V&A's Rotunda, or main entrance, home of the wonderful, 30ft high, blown glass chandelier by Dale Chihuly. After the original dome of the rotunda was reinforced, the chandelier installed in 2000 as the first stage of the V&A's modernisation and redevelopment.

Dale with us last night for dinner. Hard to believe that he and his family left London for TX six years ago and while we email often, this is our first re-union since 2006.

Eitan and I sit around watching videos on Youtube while Sonnet and Madeleine doing some errands and the mutt sleeps after a long walk in Richmond Park. The weather, which started off so promising, now overcast but at least it is warm - and the sun sets in the late evening. London has emptied for the Spring Easter holidays and the traffic, by my imperfect guess, down 10% which makes driving into town a joy. I wouldn't say it's lazy but close.

Eitan, dismissing my entire generation: "Madonna. Uh."