Self Portrait XXVIII

At 45

The Chinese have a saying or, at least I have been saying, that "at 45 you know your destiny."

Me: "What else happened this week? Anything interesting?"
Eitan: "Chelsea won the Europa League Final."
Aneta: "This week not interesting just Rusty."
Me: "Is that all we can do?"
Eitan: "I had a Spanish test today" (Dad's note: Eitan and Madeleine revising for their year-end exams)
Me: "How did it go?"
Eitan: "I forgot what I meant to say on one of my questions. Apart from that it was OK."
Me: "So you didn't ace it?"
Eitan: "No, but I did OK."
Me:
Eitan:

Springer

Rusty jumps

Sonnet to Florence tomorrow, me to France. Eitan has an away fb match on Wednesday and the English Schools Athletics Cup, Round 1, representing Hampton. Madeleine has swim practise.  To make this happen, we have four different rides, including our fabulous Aneta.

Contact The Elderly

William, age 98

I host a group of over-80s and a number of volunteers (Contact The Elderly a charity around since '65; last year they received the "Queen's Diamond Jubilee Volunteering Award").

Madeleine and I set up for 14 guests as Sonnet and Eitan at a swimming gala (the boy disqualified in his one race, the 200 IM, attempting to qualify for the regionals). Madeleine reluctant given, well, these people are old. Me, I am concerned that the dog will take someone down and bust up a hip.

We serve tea and cakes and talk about technology (none of the elderlies have used a mobile phone), Second World War (vivid memories of houses destroyed or war serviced) and travel : most never out of England. It is a lively group from Southwest London, and good for Eitan (who eventually arrives) and Madeleine to engage. Jean (age 8X) flirts and I give it right back.

Grace taught me a valuable lesson at Bay Village, Sarasota : she went out of her way to hug and touch the seniors, making them feel wanted and loved.

Rusty at 2.5

Eitan At 12

Since the week end, I sit in the kitchen w/ red wine playing 80s songs : Prince, Grandmaster Flash, The Time, Howard Jones and The Cure all get a turn.  I push myself with XTC, Thomas Dolby and The English Beat.

Me: "You are as skinny as a rail, kid."
Eitan: "Not really."
Me: "Do you remember Dave Ellis? We were both, like, 97 pounds until 10th grade."
Eitan: "I'm 98 pounds."
Me: "Yep."

Madeleine At 11

Friday again.

And no rest for the weary : Eitan at an all day swim gala, Madeleine, football and a birthday party; me, backyard chores while Sonnet and I split the driving.  Livening things up, our beloved Scot Pine losing another limb. To be on the safe side we call the fire brigade who show up inside three minutes, 10PM, to give the tree a once over.  The all-clear bestowed, an arborist called for tomorrow.

A Cultural Moment

Sir Alex Ferguson's retirement from Manchester United trumps the Queen's speech to Parliament. Under the Queen, England has one World Cup - with Ferguson, 38 trophies, including 13 Premier League titles and the UEFA Champions League twice.

Yes, Ferguson special in a uniquely British way. Only the late George Steinbrenner of the Yankees comes to mind as an equal and Thatcher as divisive. Under Ferguson's watch, Manchester United become the most celebrated football team in the world, and the most valuable sports franchise any where.

He was often brutish towards fans and referees, childish with the press, foul mouthed, sexist and prone to temper tantrums. Worse, for the English Premiere, he is a Scot. Ferguson revelled in it. To non Man U fans, he was Gunnery Sergeant Hartman and Old Trafford the bully grounds.

Eitan Mugs

Eitan opts out of "The Tempest" at The Globe (school field trip dude) to play Bedfont at a pitch notable for its proximity to Heathrow Airport. Rob, whose free kick won the Surrey Cup, knocks in another free kick and a corner kick, which bends beautifully into net. I've not seen that before. Elm Grove 3, Bedfont 1.

Before the match I pick up the boy at Hampton and we have a couple of hours pre game, spent at a coffee house near Hampton Court Palace.  We talk about his term reviews, received at yesterday's parent-teacher evening, which are positive and constructive. He needs to work in biology, ask questions in maths, and capable in his languages and esp. english, where he is one of three boys at top grade '1'.

Eitan's teachers mostly young and from Oxford or Cambridge; his maths teacher fits this profile and, interestingly, a copper before Hampton.  An outlier is Mr C, history, who wears a bright green shirt and tie.  He likes to keep the boys off guard, he tells us, "and observe how they adjust ". Mr C hugs the couple before us and I learn that he taught the man way back when.

Diggers

Madeleine and Marcus dig a pond.  They learn through experience that water don't stick, which is hard going if you want to fill the hole with goldfish and a frog or newt (Madeleine, over my shoulder now :  "Oh, Dad, don't put how it failed please").  They fit it with garbage bags then backyard rocks - which is where I put my foot down - to find them later digging up stones from the front road.  I warn them that the cops might come since there could be erosion. They still just believe me but barely.

On Rides

Thames, at Barnes

Eitan to Thorpe Park for Shaheen's b'day to experience the Nemesis Inferno ("a red hot, white knuckled inverted hell ride"), Colossus ("ten-loop, stomach churning madness") and Detonator ("a gut wrenching drop into terror").  Then there is The Saw, billed as "the most horrifying roller coaster in the world" (I watch on youtube and it does look pretty scary).  And why will the boy subject himself to such misery? In a word, peerpressure.

Eitan's goal for the day: "I hope I don't get sick."

BBQ Burger

As one does here in the UK on a bank holiday weekend, I fire up the Webber - thankfully, the weather holds (rain would not stop me nor England, mind you).

Madeleine mills about and I tell her the secret to a perfect burger: kneed a small dimple on the top to capture juice; never flatten with spatula.  Cook on maximum heat, super quick, to sear the top and maintain the middle medium or pink. Since at home, eat with hands. Madeleine: "That's nice Dad."

Bank Holiday W/E Y'All

Word

It is a bank holiday weekend and not a moment too soon (overcast, but predictions for 'partly sunny').  I do some yard work, watering - usual stuff.  Madeleine and Molly to the movies and pre-load  at the 'All Pounder' shop : enough candy to fill a shopping bag, which they devour during the film.  Me, I get used dropping the gals off for three hours, no supervision.

Fulham FB Club

Rusty is helpful

I give Eitan (in bed, 10AM) the choice: backyard chores or walk with me. He demures but comes along as I drop Madeleine off at Barn Elms for football then the towpath with the dog.

At about Eitan's age now, Grace and I in the routine of walking Sunday afternoons usually at the Little Farm or Nimitz Way in Tilden Park. It was an anxious time, 7th grade, and those walks helped form my early teens.  The secret, I tell Eitan, that Grace listened.

Madeleine: "What if Molly shows up while I am in the shower?"
Me: "She can wait in the kitchen. With me."
Madeleine: "Just promise me you won't be embarrassing, OK?"
Me: "Never in life, my dear."
Madeleine: "And no singing either."
Me: "Can I pledge the allegiance to the flag?"
Madeleine: "Definitely not."
Me: "Hum the star spangled banner? That's not really singing."
Madeleine: "Ugh, Dad, just don't do any of those things. Just try not to be yourself."
Me:
Madeleine: "Just this once. For me."

I Am Number Four

Friday evening.

Sonnet in Colorado to see her father and brother+Adrianne; today they are to Denver to join her extended family for Beecher's memorial.

Me, up the stairs "Eitan you have to do your revisions" (for summer term exams)
Eitan: "I just got home, I'll do them later."
Me: "You'll do them now or tell me when."
Eitan: "In half an hour. At 6PM."
Me to Madeleine: "Sometimes you have to drop the hammer on that kid."
Madeleine: "Yeah. But you never do it enough though."

Paris In Spring

Paris fountain

There is nowhere else I would rather be than springtime in Paris. Though it came late this year (and our recent family visit mostly in the cold) when the city blossoms, she is beautiful. On the edge of the Touleries Gardens, overlooking Place de la Concorde and the Eiffel Tower, I do my sun salutations.

San Ramon, Berkeley

Back row: Hilary and Rosie; Katie, Lesley, me

From the neighbour's stoop to East Sheen. How the hell did that happen? Anyways I had a sweet bowl cut and one must give credit to Grace for putting me in some cool red flooding trousers with blue top. Classico.

Some Brass

Madeleine has made excellent progress on the trumpet - here our gal plays 'Skyfall' from the recent Bond movie. When she first picked up the instrument I thought it would be another three-months-and-out activity but she has hung in there and developed her talent.

Han Solo

I was just the right age for Star Wars in 1977 when it dropped on the cinema like a Death Star. I stood in a line, around the block, with my mom and sister at the Coronet Theatre in San Francisco's Inner Richmond district (which, sadly, closed in 2005). Star Wars dethroned the prior year's Logan's Run another sci fi foible without the rabble-rousing battle-to-the-death parable of good vs. evil.  And no tie fighters.

I revisited the original three Star Wars when they were re released in theatre in the 1997.  And yes, I am feeling old.

Aneta and Sonnet walk in the door, me in the living room blasting KC & The Sunshine Band's '(Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty'.
Aneta: "I love this crazy family."

Marc

w/ coach

Marc is the reason we are part of Elm Grove, not easy given it is a 40 minute drive into Surrey for Thursday and weekend training and home matches.  Marc once a semi professional footballer, so he knows the game, but it is his attitude and encouragement of the boys that count in my book.  He has been coaching most of his squad since they were age five.

Unfortunately Marc will step back next season so Eitan's future with the All Stars uncertain following the final games in the Premier league of the Surrey Youth Division.

Nail Biter

Dog fight

The Surrey Cup Final a thriller.  The All Stars outplayed and outclassed in the first half, where the ball mostly stays on our side of the pitch.  Alphie the goalie makes two leaping saves that, by rights, should have put Elm Grove out of the match.  Somehow it is nil-nil at the break.

But disaster: In the first several moments of the second half KPR hit a perfect cross finding a willing boot to open net, 1-nil.  The rest of the game on tenterhooks and we wonder : will the equiliser arrive? And it does, with moments to spare, in regular time.  Jubilation !

Extra time begins and Jack and Eitan go to work in a brutal physical display of football that leaves KPR's forwards shaking their fists and looking towards the referee, who fails to oblige them.  PKs a menacing possibility. But then - one minute left -  Elm Grove awarded a penalty from 20 meters out. Rob (last year's team player) hits a perfect bender, top of the goal box, and Elm Grove are Surrey Cup champs for the first time in club history. Bravo !

Victory well deserved