IKEA Date

Madeleine asks me - seriously - to take her and her friends to IKEA on a Saturday evening and so I do. It's Madeleine, Maddy, Theia and Izzy. An excellent crew. I listen to them giggle and hyperventilate on the ride to Wembley at 6PM.  I try to become invisible, just a fly on the wall, as the girls discuss clothes and school and boys.

Honestly, IKEA is exhausting but what a place to people watch: an Indian grandma tests a sofa mattress by laying on it spread eagle. A Russian couple with baby check out tables and kids race about in the trolleys risking death and the wrath of, well, me. I count it as a cultural experience.

I ask the cashier the busiest time? And she tells me the weekend, which is fair enough, but Saturday evening ? It's when people can do it.

And this: The company is responsible for approximately 1% of world commercial-product wood consumption.

Madeleine: "I'm kind of over IKEA."