Self Portrait XXIV

Madeleine: "There's a kid in our class. And he had a heart operation. And they sowed his heart together with cow skin."
Me: "Oh?"
Madeleine: "I think so."
Me: "There are a lot of people who need hearts, you know.  For an operation."
Madeleine: "Do you mean if you are, like, 70, and going to die in three weeks, they can take your heart?"
Me: "I think doctors are more interested in younger donors.  Did you know that I am a heart donor? "
Madeleine: "Really?"
Me: "Yes. I filled out the donor papers so, if I die, and somebody needs my heart, they can take it."
Madeleine: "What do you mean?"
Me: "Well, assume that I am at an intersection waiting to cross the street and a helicoptor comes landing down and - whack! - one of the blades lops off my skull and my brains spill out."
Madeleiene: "That would never happen, Dad."
Me: "I'm just saying. So, there I am, brains and blood everywhere, so the ambulance arrives and cuts out my heart."
Madeleine: "Would they really do that?"
Me: "Yep."
Madeleine: "Even if you are still alive?"
Me: "Of course not. That's why they have a mallet. Every ambulance has one, you know."
Madeleine: "Now I know you are joking."
Me: "No, way. You have to be dead if they are going to take your heart. So they wack your head a couple times with the mallet. To make sure you are dead."
Madeleine: "Could they get in trouble? I mean, if you are still alive?"
Me: "Only if there is a law suit.  When the lawyers get involved there is always trouble."
Madeleine: "Can helicopters really land in the street ?"