Friday, November 25

Going Stag

I had two bachelor parties : one in New York, when a bunch of MBAs took me to Peter Lugers in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, followed by a strip joint. From there things went downhill fast ending at Times Square at dawn with no money to get home.

My second stag (pictured, with Joe Montana) in San Francisco with a different group and notable for many reasons including the bowling ball Roger chained to my leg and I threatened to roll down Nob Hill, making Roger more than anxious. Just like college. Just like now. Sam also with us and the only one to, you know, actually talk to some pretty girls. Just like high school. Just like now.

As ever, the evening ended with "entertainment" and ours at the Mitchell Brothers O'Farrell Theatre in the Tenderloin district. Wiki states "O'Farrell the oldest and most notorious adult-entertainment establishment in the country" and Hunter S. Thompson adds: it is "the Carnegie Hall of public sex in America". Famous alum include John Holmes (porn star), Marlyn Chambers (porn star), Megan Leigh (porn star), Fallon (porn star), Annette Haven (porn star), Nina Hartley (porn star) and Erica Boyer (porn star). And so on and so forth.

Yes, I have been to worse. Like my friend S who had candle-wax melted on his scrotum by a prostitute.  Or the "performer" who was lactating. Why do otherwise sensible young men do this sort of thing, which,  inevitably,  leads to self-loathing or worse given the Internets? Sure, alcohol fuels the frenzy. Male bonding another. But mostly it is one last chance, perhaps missed or never in college, to play the ass. And really go for it.

The Brits do it better than most, too, given their propensity to drink like fish. They are also a bit smarter about it - for instance, they leave the UK . Why take the chance of being spotted comatose at some brothel in Shepherd Market? Prague has become the #1 stag location in Europe followed by Riga then Budapest, according to, which is happy to set up everything for the lads.  Hen parties have , more recently, become equally popular.  

Me, I haven't been to a bachelor party since '96 and it is not something that I miss. Entirely.