"Beware Dog Around"

Madeleine takes it upon herself to warn robbers of Rusty - she is outside painting some wood after I decide that carving the message dangerous - using a thick marker on sticky labels, which now plaster the garden gate. Just wait 'til mom gets home.

I am in Paris yesterday and enjoy spring. Spring! Paris is the only place to be this time of year and I sit in Jardin Tuileries and sunbathe. I had scheduled time for a museum - maybe the Louvre or the Petit Palais - but I cannot be bothered.

I arrive home to find a banner draped across the hallway: "Welcome home Dad!"

Madeleine: "Can I take these scissors and cut Rusty's hair?"

Me: "No."

Madeleine: "It is getting long. Especially around his tail."

Me: "No way Madeleine."

Madeleine: "Don't you trust me?"

Me: "Of course I do. This has nothing to do with trust."

Madeleine: "You don't trust me. Well I am going to cut Rusty's hair."

Me: "Two words: Dead. Meat."

Madeleine: "Sheesh, Dad, stop looking at me that way."

Me: "Madeleine, do you think you will ever go on a date with a boy?"

Madeleine: "That was so random, Dad."

Me: "Well, what do you think?"

Madeleine: "How should I know? I'm not an outcast."

Me: "Well, if you do, make sure he treats you well."

Sonnet: "Hear, hear."

Madeleine:

Me: "And he has to bathe. I won't let anybody smelly in the house."

Madeleine: "Oh, Dad."

Me: "Only the best for you kiddo."

Madeleine: "If a robber tries to get in our house, and Rusty attacks him, will they [the humane society] kill Rusty?"

Me: "I don't think the robber has anything to worry about."

Madeleine: "But it is illegal for a dog to attack a robber."

Me: "If Rusty could talk, he would be, like, 'come on in and help yourself to the television.'"

Madeleine: "We have to warn the robbers. I know! I will put signs up! 'Dog Around' signs!"

Sonnet: "That is a great idea, Madeleine."

Me: "How about if we paint the sign on the house. Out in front?"

Madeleine: "Really?!"

Sonnet: