Our Little Darling
Me: "How was your day, Kiddo?"
Eitan: "Madeleine was in school assembly. And she got into trouble."
Me: "Oh? What did she do?"
Eitan: "She tied some girls shoe laces together and now she has to go to Mr H's office [school Head Master] tomorrow morning.
Me: "Remember when I exploded that stink bomb on the school bus in 6th grade?"
Eitan: Yeah, so?"
Me: "I had to go to the principal's office, too, and I was crying like crazy. I bet she's terrified."
Eitan: "Are you mad at her?"
Me: "No. Not for this."
Later.
Me: "Hi Madeleine, how was your day?"
Madeleine: "I was in class. And I knocked a book over and it made a 'thump' and I lost two-minutes of 'Golden Time'".
Me: "Did that happen in assembly?"
Madeleine: "Um, no Dad, that was something different."
Me: "Yes?"
Madeleine: "I was sitting next to Billy and Zac and next to Billy there was Sarah. And I was absent-mindedly tying Sarah's shoe laces together. .. ."
Me: "Absent mindedly. Then what?"
Madeleine: "Mr B looked over, and saw me, and he was furious. I lost another two-minutes of 'Golden Time.' And tomorrow I am going to Mr H's office. It is so unfair."
Me: "What would have happened if Sarah had fallen and hurt herself?"
Madeleine: "She wouldn't have, Dad. Mr B should not have been so mad."
Me: "He has to keep a class of 29 kids under control. I bet he was mad."
Madeleine: "If you are trying to make me feel better it is not working."
Later.
Madeleine: "I have an idea. About going to Mr H's office.
Me: "Let's hear it."
Madeleine: "I will get hit by a car. Then they will put me in one of those things, a body cast, and I will have two broken legs and broken arms."
Me: "And a poked out eyeball? Or your left nostril torn open!"
Madeleine: "Yeah! And they will wheel me into his office and Mr H will be, like, 'Woa!"
Me: "No doubt."
Madeleine: "Then he will ask me what happened and I will tell him that I was hit by a car, thrown into a sharp shrubbery and then mugged and everything."
Me: "Diverting his attention?"
Madeleine: "Yes."
Me: "And he will let you off?"
Madeleine: "Of course. He will be crying so hard he won't remember the shoe laces."
Me: "Good plan but let's not do it."
Madeleine: "Why not?"
Me: "Just promise, Ok please"
Madeleine: "Ok, Dad. Whatever you say."
