Self Portrait XIX - Mean Reds

At a museum. Katie asks me since when I have become a ham ? and I do not recall. Am I? I know my father a wise-crack when he was younger, which I see more of today than before. I like this about him. I think of a b&w photo at a family Sedar in St Louis where Moe, age 11 maybe, reading and my grandmother Eve laughing; my grandfather looks on approvingly. Eve has her hand on my father's arm indicating "enough !" but her expression the opposite. I lost my humour during those NY post-college gallow years but maybe it comes back now. I am happy, at least, that my sister thinks I am amusing.

This week sees me in Paris, Munich and New York. I hope this will be the end of the travel for some spell. Madeleine blue Wednesday morning and asks me to walk her to school (which otherwise is with our au pair Aneta; Eitan to school by himself. Proudly). Unfortunately I am to the airport and Sonnet has a full day of meetings .. Madeleine tired (a "Rusty" training class keeps her up the night before) and it is raining. Bunk. Sonnet makes a quick call and takes our girl to school stopping at the Victoria for a hot chocolate. We agree : more sleep needed. I remember the same feelings from sixth or seventh grade and was fortunate that Grace always available no matter what she was otherwise doing. I hope Sonnet and I can be the same for Madeleine. As my friend Joe says : "The bigger the kid, the bigger the problem" (Joe's children 26). I don't think Madeleine's sadness a problem but I appreciate Joe's wisdom.

Holly Golightly: "You know those days when you get the mean reds?"
Paul Varjak: "The mean reds, you mean like the blues?"
Holly Golightly: "No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling? "
Paul Varjak: "Sure."
Holly Golightly: "Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name! "