On The Pyroclastic Flow

Eitan and Shaheen

Walking with Rusty. Me: "Did you know a meteor hit the earth over the weekend in Russia? 1200 people were injured."
Madeleine: "Whoa. How big was it?"
Me: "15 meters. A bigger one hit Siberia in 1908 - maybe 100 meters. A large meteorite strikes earth every 10,000 years or so .. . the good news: you would go quickly."
Madeleine: "At least it is not a pyroclastic flow. That is the worst way to die."
Me: "What's that?"
Madeleine: "It's a fast moving river of lava and rocks. It would drag you along and crush you to death."
Me: "Would your eyeballs be squished out of your skull?"
Madeleine: "That would only be the beginning."
Me: "What else?"
Madeleine: "Your bones would snap and and your brains squished."
Me: "Sounds gruesome."
Madeleine: "Yep."

Party 11

Madeleine, Alex, Billy, Ollie, Molly, Maddy, Marcus, Zac

Madeleine's 11 party kinetic: nine screamers pumped on sugar race down the block with the dog barking like mad.  Sonnet and I roll our eyes and promise ourselves: "never again."

From lunch to the cinema and the "The Hobbit" (or, as I like to call it, "The-Never-Ending-Hobbit").  Who can tell the difference between Bilbo Baggins, Narnia and Harry Potter? It's all got the same wizard and evil orcs and spiders .. . good vs. evil and some precocious boy figure and so on and so forth.  By the half way point I stop trying to tell the orcs from the goblins (Zac, helpfully: "The Orcs are large and scary and the goblins are short.  And scary.")  After three hours I am orced out.

Watching the Hobbit like a zombie gore-soaked video game which loses all its impact mid-way through.  And I loved the book, which I found more interesting than "The Rings" trilogy. Shorter.  Recall the Star Wars battle b/t the Millenium Falcon and the tie fighers - there were only five tie fighters and it was, like, the most exciting thing ever put to screen. There are millions of orcs and after 15 minutes - who cares?

Zac: "That wasn't very realistic, Mr Orenstein."
Me: "I mean, why do trolls turn to stone in the sunlight? Nobody would buy that."
Zac: "And when the dwarves fell off the cliff, on that wood thing, and nobody killed... . "
Me: "Or when the Orc King landed on them and not a scratch .. ."
Molly: "It is not meant to be real. Just realistic."
Me: 'So you believe in an orc?"
Molly: "I didn't say I believed in that stuff. .. "
Me: "I'm with Zac.  Let's just say those dwarves and Bilbo Baggins are inside the mountain .. ."
Molly:
Me: "No way they could kill as many orcs as they did without a dwarf being taken out."
Zac: "Yeah!"
Me: "Stick with me on these things, Zac. I l know what I'm talking about."

Dana

Near Sheen Gate

Eitan non-communicative the past month giving up the occasional grunt to confirm or deny something and Sonnet and I wonder : is there a teenager in the house? Mostly his free time spent in front of the TV and a request for chores gets a simple "no."

I take the boy to football practise in Weybridge, Surrey.  We have learned Eitan's coach Marc will take a lesser role in the club next season after seven years.  Marc the reason we drive the distance for the All Stars, and the best coach Eitan has enjoyed in any sport (my opinion).  Marc committed to his boys and the football before the results (though Elm Grove in first place in their division and in the quarter-final of the Surrey Cup).

Madeleine not selected for a drama scholarship. She is disappointed but shrugs it off - there will other opportunities and she is committed.

Friday Night Lights

Madeleine in my office

Friday again. As with everybody in the UK, I and we are preoccupied with beef and whether it is, well, beef, so I am not chuffed when my friend tells me he is looking at buying a global German sausages company (his advice: "never eat a sausage"). I learn that the casings come in varied multiple sizes one mile long and look exactly like a (one-mile long) condom.  The casings no longer made with the intestine, either - far too inefficient - but rather paper or plastic.  US hot dogs have their own particular wrap : Americans like it to be "crunchy" or, at least, some texture; Europeans don't want to know it is there.  Did I mention that a hot dog can be up to 30% fat and a further 3% "unknowable" ?

Me: "Let's watch television. And Madeleine can do the dishes."
Madeleine: "Gee, thanks a lot Dad."
Sonnet: "Friday night family dinner."
Madeleine: "It's an original."

Madeleine: "Can I watch a wee bit of TV?"
Me: "Did you just say 'wee'?"
Madeleine: "It's Scottish, Dad. Not that you would know."

Got Beef?

2000

It seems like only yesterday that England faced Mad Cow disease and images of 100s of thousands of cattle being burned or stiff-legged spread around the world.  But those memories come back with the horse meat scandal (horse meat labeled 'beef') which has moved from budget chains like Icelands, Asda and (gasp) Tescos and packaged foods like Findus lasagnas (unit price £1.60) to upper-end groceries including Waitrose and even, gasp, our restaurant's beef burgers.  While not a health threat, it is mislabelling fraud and a criminal scandal of real scale, connecting low practises in France, Roumania, Wales, Northern Island and, in the end, England.  It is the most basic thing : can we trust what we eat and who serves it ?

Our butcher tells me that imported beef can be called British beef, if it remains in cold storage for one month or more.

Sonnet: "We should all be vegetarians."

Rusty Takes A Leak

The dog mostly compensates for himself.

Photo from Sonnet as I blog from Montreal (or "monreal" as the canucks say).  Yesterday it was Toronto.  I travel with my friend Thierry who is a sophisticated parisienne and we laugh at the underground food mart where we have sandwich 'wraps' for lunch - it is not the 8e. but at least it's not the Boston Chicken Market.

Barn Elms

At Barn Elms

The Eagles play at Barn Elms, in Barnes, a fifty-two acre greenfield with football pitches, tennis courts and a quarter-mile track that I use on occasion for the hell of it. It is next to the Wetland Center.  

The grounds once part of a manor house owned by the Archbishop of Cantebury and, before that, the Dean and Chapter of St Paul's; it once hosted the Fulham FC and the Ham polo club.  The Vice Chancellor of London lived here for a while and Queen Elizabeth would visit her Spymaster on the grounds.  

By 1954, the manor was burnt out and so demolished. Developers circled but the community petitioned the Richmond Borough of London to take control of the grounds. Control granted, and Barnes created the Barn Elms Sports Trust to ensure its future.

"I walked the length of the Elmes, and with great pleasure saw some gallant ladies and people come with their bottles, and basket, and chairs, and form, to sup under the trees, by the water-side, which was mighty pleasant"

--Samuel Pepys

Evening Wear

Sonnet and I to James and Emily's 15th anniversary party where we see new friends from their son's summer Bar Mitzvah.  We are unprepared with a lyric, as required, and listen with delight to others  which are genuinely touching or hilarious or both. Since dress meant to be "somewhat OTT", I drape myself in Katie's African wrap.

Sonnet wears Silver's dress, a 1985 Norma Camali. Out of the picture are her gold slippers.

FB Sunday

Half-time pep talk

It is one cold morning to be on the pitch but the Barnes Eagles shrug off the weather and draw 1-1 with the Colne Valley Ladies FC, scoring the equaliser mid-way through the second half.  Madeleine almost knocks in the winner and there are several further chances for the victory. In the end, both sides celebrate a hard-fought competition and the Eagles rejoice against a team that beat them 2-nil when last time together.

Greyhound

Madeleine tries Vodka

And it's TGIF.  I return from Paris for a Friday night with my ladies while Eitan at swimming practice.  We have dinner and discuss stuff : Sonnet's run-through of the objects in La Moda, Madeleine's birthday gifts from school friends, the week end and so on and so forth.  I have been waiting for this evening all week and here it is.

Me: "So would you like to have Daniel over for a play .. . oh, shit, I'm not supposed suggest those things."
Madeleine: "Dad! It's OK anyway. I want to have Daniel, Peter and Sidique over."
Me: "Cool.  Can I wear my cow suit?"
Madeleine: "Oh, my God, Dad - you are not wearing a cow suit. I will rugby tackle you if you do."
Me: "How about vampire teeth. And red blood?"
Madeleine: "I am changing this conversation."
Me: "Next week then? It's all set."
Sonnet: "Don't listen to your Dad, Madeleine, he's just being silly."
Madeleine: "That's exactly what I am afraid of."

Paris Wheel

Place de la Concorde

When the conditions good, the camera disappears- this one with my mobile and it wouldn't be much better with the DSLR. The shot from Tuileries garden next to the Jeu de Paume, now closed for renovations; it is otherwise one of my favorite museums as it shows photographs and photographers and conveniently convenient to where I stay in the 8e. Also in the the Tuileries is the Musée de l'Orangerie which displays Claude Monet's large water lily paintings.

I contemplate a ride on the ferris wheel but decide it is equally pleasant in my sunset vista. Besides Sonnet not here so what's the fun in that ?

Madeleine Turns 11

Madeleine turns a year and we celebrate at Cool Sushi.  Her gift: A remote-control glider (when it arrives, I tell her it is a vacuum cleaner for her chores).  Madeleine is the love of my heart and the daughter I could only dream of.  I can never so 'no' to her.

Madeleine puts candles on a triple layer cake that is two layers since the dog got the middle layer

Deb And Dave

45 York Ave

Me: "Anything going on at school?"

Madeleine: "No."

Me: "More, please."

Madeleine: "Well, there are the cool kids in my class. .. "

Me: "Oh?"

Madeleine: "It's really annoying. Like, Eric, he is always playing with the year-sevens.  And all the girls are, like, in love with him."

Me: "He must be dreamy."

Madeleine: "I don't think so."

Me: "Are you one of the 'cool kids'"

Me: "There are the 'cool kids' and the 'uncool kids.'  I'm definitely not with the 'cool kids."

Me: "So you're with the 'uncool kids?'"

Madeleine: "Yeah, but we are the cool ones of the 'uncool kids'."

Me: "What about the uncool kids in the cool gang? Could they be one of the cool kids in the uncool gang?"

Madeleine: "We would never let them in. Fred wants to be in our gang but he's uncool and he hit me on the head with his backpack."

Sonnet: "I hope your not excluding anybody from something, are you Madeleine?"

Madeleine: "The cool kids are called 'the tree gang' because they are always lounging about in a tree."

Me:

Madeleine: "But they can't go too high because then they will get a signature."

Me: "That must be pretty cool."

Madeleine: "Yeah, unless you fall and break your arm or something."

Me: "Good point."

The Programmer

Dave with a ball chucker

Dave and Deb, who I have know since 7th grade, with us this week.  Dave a programmer for Intuit where he has been since '99. His skill rewarded with Intuit's mobile payment platform which may be the company's future. When not cracking code, he is doing Tai Chi - 1.5 hours every morning.  He is a calm dude who absorbs information - nothing goes by him.

Last night we see Mr Bean, otherwise known as Roan Atkinson, in the play 'Quartermaine's Terms' (Playbill: "a tragicomic play, humorous but ultimately moving account, of several years in the lives of seven teachers.")  I can see why Atkinson chose the part following Bean and Bond spoof "Johnny English" - Quartermaine allows him to be subtle.  Deb an actress and in seventh heaven.

Richmond Park, Mid Day

Pen Pond

Belly Laugh

Both kids have a wonderful sense of humor and it does not take much to get a laugh out of either. All the easier if it includes something gross but sometimes my subtle touch breaks through. Not. It's one of the most enjoyable things about their age.

School Work

Madeleine does her homework

The weekend rule, often forgotten or dismissed, is homework before television. Eitan uses homework to escape chores but then cedes the battle over Match Of The Day.  His choice.  Madeleine less interested in the boob tube preferring Harry Potter by Stephen Fry instead.  Hundreds of hours, all in. Will she or they ever outgrow the wizard's hold?

Amazon.co.uk: "How long does a Harry Potter recording take to make?"
Stephen Fry: "It tears the arse out of three days really."

Burns Supper

Lars multi tasks 

We join Mitch and Rachel who host a Scot themed party (Burns day, at our around 25 January, celebrates the Scottish poet) and hagus with whisky duly served to the guests. Today Scotland v. England in Six Nations rugby (England wins).

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,    (hurdies = buttocks)
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o' need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.
--Robert Burns

All In The Gang

San Ramon ca. '72

This photo on my parent's grand piano in Berkeley.  Johnny in the middle with the patches on his knees (his nick-name, from his sailor Dad, was 'bony nogg'n" since he fell down a lot as a kid; we collected salamanders and stole a shopping cart for the wheels).  Behind Johnny, his sister Rosy (white roller skates) and to the left, Vicky, whose father was the Chief of the Berkeley Fire Dept.  On the tricycle is Eric. I ate ant poison outside Eric's house and rushed to the hospital; his parent's never apologised nor said a word.

I am liking my style (far right) : over sized striped sweater, polo (fresh collar) and slightly baggy trousers+trainers.  It was all Grace.

The Hillbilly Cat

Katie sends a post card from Graceland, Tennessee.

Elvis's final years not pretty and I am glad to have missed his decline. The sheer wackiness of his final Southern style make him a curio in 2013 and yet the music remains killer. From '54's "That's All Right" (which still jams by today's standards) to '72's "Burning Love" with its boogie piano, horn-laden chorus and the final "hunka hunka burning love" - no wonder it went no. 2 on the Billboards (Elvis, BTW, had 18 no. 1 singles, tied for second with Mariah Carey, and behind the Beatles' 20).  By his death, The King had sold more than 600 million singles and albums (source: IMDb).

Elvis as far out on the edge as one could be. I wonder if people would notice him in today's over-exposed porno saturated world ? How fanciful his hips censored on the Ed Sullivan show.

"I'm no hillbilly singer."

--Elvis Presley