Wednesday, May 14

Strapline

Temple Bar

Since I always get in trouble for my descriptions of The OpEd project here it is, officially:

"The OpEd Project is a community of journalists and thought leaders committed to diversifying the world's conversation.  Our Public Voices Fellowship program is a national initiative, undertaken in partnership with leading academic institutions and foundations, to dramatically increase the public impact of our nation's top underrepresented thinkers. "
--From the materials

Tuesday, May 13

Dublin Good Bye


Katie treats me to dinner in Dublin 2 and we drink draft Guinness and Katie (at my insistence) orders a Tusker beer, which brings back memories of Kenya, Africa, or the last time I enjoyed this brew.  She will be in Zanzibar later this year. But this this evening we enjoy Ireland's finest oysters and recount family stories.

Katie's business is going great-guns (recently she received a substantial grant from the Ford Foundation with fellowship programs in place with 12 universities) and her conference is buzzing on the Twitter-sphere.

In the hotel room I am asleep by 9PM while Katie watches The Avengers. Today we have lunch with Nick, the Deputy Head of the Irish Pension Reserve, and now the airport.

"How can a country that gave us Joyce not be able produce a road map?"
--Moe, somewhere in Ireland, ca 1998

Monday, May 12

Self Portrait XXXVII and XXXVIII



Photos by Katie

Katie Broadcasts


I fly to Dublin this morning to see Katie at the Women On Air conference, which is broadcast across the UK.  Katie is the Key Note speaker, "Who narrates the world," at a conference that brings together media and political figures. It fills the St Georges' Hall at the Dublin Palace.  I arrive midway thru and catch my sister's eye as I seat myself in one of the front rows. Pretty cool moment.

"Passion and credibility are both important but should be used at different times. Credibility first."
-Katie, Women On Air

Sunday, May 11

Meanwhile At The Track

 pre 200m

We enjoy a family outing at the Andover Young Athletics Meeting where Eitan and Madeleine aim to qualify for the London Youth Games this summer.  It is a windy sunny day and we spend most of it outdoors, on the overlooking grassy hillside, watching the Shakespeares compete.  In between, some homework is done and I read the new car-manual [Dad's note: we bought a new family car - a Honda]

Madeleine runs the 200m and 800m making the finals in the 200m and finishing 3rd of 18 girls competing in the U13's. Her time: 30.14.  She also takes 3rd in the 800m (no finals) in 2:45, or a six second pb. She is proud as punch, as are we.

Eitan runs the 1500 in 5:09, off his best of 4:55.

200m

Me: "Would you rather do homework or read a car manual?"
Eitan: "Car manual."
Me: "You would rather read a car manual then learn about maths and physics and the wonders of the world? I would give my right hand to have somebody teach me stuff like that."
Eitan: "Definitely car manual."

Graduation Day


Marcus receives his masters in business from Niagra University, earning his place in the Kappa Gamma Pi honor society. Bravo !

Saturday, May 10

The Wall Of Tears






Goal!

Surrey Cup Final U13's


Hampton School take on the Whitgift School in the Surrey Cup U13's school finals. The prize, the Therfield Trophy, has exchanged hands for 70 years.  Last year Eitan's Elm Grove won the Surrey Cup U12's.

Hampton the under-dogs given that four or five of the Whitgift boys play for the Academies including the brilliant No. 10, Callum Hudson Odoi, who is signed with Chelsea and selected the best Surrey U13 player for the 2014 season. Eitan assigned to mark Callum and the fist-half Eitan on his ass more often than not but by the second half he has him figured him.  It's an intensely physical game, too: loud brutal crunching that we hear 30 meters downfield; a number of collisions that stop the action and I think at least one boy concussed but no way is he coming out.

The game starts in good form with Hampton up 1-nil but we trail the rest of the match, equalising in regulation play and then again with a two minutes in over-time.  Us parents bounce along a roller coaster of highs and lows . ..  It comes down to the dreaded penalty kicks and anyone who follows English football knows that PKs mean one thing: defeat.  I have my "everyone is a winner" speech prepared for the ride home.

Hampton misses the first PK and Whitgift hit the next three. Then they miss. And miss again. Louie lines up to win the game or go down in sweet infamy.

So, the giant cumulous clouds frame the pitch as the sun sets.  Louie drops the ball on the spot and I can tell he's anxious - no shit.  One step.. then two and away she goes : all net! The boys erupt in joy and relief and fall on top of Louie. Several of the mums burst into tears. Wow wow wow.

Thursday, May 8

Tiles

Ceiling, St Mark's Basilica

The St Mark's basilica constructed from 1084-1117. 

The five domes have golden tiled ceilings - to install them, the artist began at the centre and worked downward, all the while neutralising the gradient "distortion" for the viewer below.

By my simple calculation there is approximately 8000 sq meters of tiled ceiling or about 86,110 square feet or 12,400,000 square inches. If the tiles average a quarter inch on each side, well, there are about 49,600,000 tiles. 

St Mark's Camanile

St Mark's Campanile is the bell tower of St Mark's Basilica in the Piazza San Marco. 

The tower is 98.6 metres tall and stands alone in a corner of St Mark's Square near the front of the basilica. It has a simple form, the bulk of which is a fluted brick square shaft, 12 metres wide on each side and 50 metres tall, above which is a loggia surrounding the belfry, housing five bells. The tower is capped by a pyramidal spire, at the top of which sits a golden weathervane of the archangel Gabriel. It was built in 1514.

Venice is literally stuffed with tourists and I hear accents from around the world and mainly from America. One can always tell the Americans who are loud and unafraid with their opinions: "I was disappointed with the Campanile maybe because I'm from Los Angeles and the buildings are taller." And so on and so forth.

Madeleine: "Will you bring me a gift?"

So Lounge

Dave and Tabitha grant each of their children a weekend solo with them in the city of their choice. Netta goes for Venice and by good chance, same weekend as us. We visit them for a swim in the pool at Cipriani, where they are staying.  Netta, age 13, plugs into her head phones and reads a book, lounging poolside.

The cool thing about Venice, which takes a day or so to realise - no cars nor bikes. It is all foot traffic or canal boat.

Art

We have a drink with Francesco and Alex, whose family house on the Grand Canal with the most spectacular views of the passage one can imagine, esp. on a beautiful evening like this evening, as the sun sets. Yes, we drink Compari and soda, at least I do, which seems appropriate.

Joining us is Philip Rylands, the Director of the Peggy Guggenheim Collection - he's been there a long time and tells us about Peggy, who died in 1979 - she a trust funder, art collector, Bohemian and socialite. Ryland, for his part, a Cambridge educated bespectacled Brit, with white hair, and great attention for detail. In short, a match made in heaven. He the good shepherd.

The Canals

Outside our hotel

Venice contains over 150 canals, give or take, spanned by 400 bridges. Give or take. The largest canal in the city, the Grand Canal ("Canalasso"), is aprox two miles long and winds its way in a giant "S" curve through the city from the train station to the Piazzo San Marco and the church of Santa Maria de Salute, at which point it is over 350 feet wide. More than 170 buildings line the Canalasso.  

The grand canal is 5 meters deep and the side canals are mostly 2 meters deep. Excluding the thick muds.


Wednesday, May 7

Venice

Santa Maria della Salute

We arrive in Venice sans kids which has us giddy like a couple of teenagers. Sonnet cannot recall the last time, if ever, we have left the Shakespeares for two nights.  They are in good hands.

We are at a wonderful hotel, which was once a palace, overlooking the Grand Canal and a stone's throw from the Piazza San Marco. We drop our bags and go for a walk along the canals and over the bridges then a nap and a candlelight dinner on a checkered table. Yes, cliche, but so what?  I sing 'That's Amore' which gets an elbow in my side from Sonnet.

The Penny Board Gang

Madeleine, Maddy and Poppy

Ok, catching up, it's a so-called 'bank holiday' weekend (17 years here and I still don't get it) and Madeleine invites Maddy and Poppy for a sleep-over and, since "penny" boards are de rigeur ("penny" boards being "skate" boards in my era, which gets an eye-roll from Madeleine) the girls take to the street.

Afterwards, Sonnet joins the gaggle for a pizza chit-chat on school gossips - teachers, who likes whom, various so and so's. Usual stuff. Ms S is pregnant (Me: "Did you give her a knowing look?" Madeleine: "No, Dad, I did not give her a knowing look") and year-end exams around the corner.

The girls watch a movie, a pleasant scene, and I join the otherwise quiet living room to work on my notebook only to find Madeleine staring at me in horror.  I get the hint.

Saturday, May 3

On The Go

Eitan takes several bags to school including his sports gear and, presumably, his books. Friday is a dress-down day so the tie stays at home.  A 'tie' a misnomer BTW - he has four or five 'ties' that he pulls over his head so he doesn't have to do the thing up each morning. Pretty clever. I wonder : why don't I do that?

I walk him part-way to the coach stop and we have an engaging conversation about shaving brushes. These are the important things that a man can pass down to his son.

Made In Chelsea

Green Park tube

Eitan and Madeleine have been watching "Made In Chelsea" which is about these posh early-20s friends with names like Spencer and Binky and Cheska who whinge and whine and moan to each other about their relationships when they aren't, well, shagging. I'm totally hooked.

This evening's episode sees Spencer cheating, again, on some new girl and Binky and Alex talking about their break-up. It's all eye candy and nice to see that nobody really has much fun post university, even the trust funders. But their despair is glorious.

"You've completely broken my heart. I can't believe you've done that. Are you really going to Venice? Can I come too?"
--Binky, on 'Made In Chelsea.

Rainy Day

Doing some do-it-yourself, I step from the ladder onto the kitchen table (antique) which collapses taking me down with it - the dog jumps from underneath yelping.  It's all slow motion as I smash down and I wonder : what's broken? is an artery severed ? The noise gets the kids attention, too. I earn an afternoon of challenge-free chores.

At the sports shop buying Madeleine a NY Yankees backup. Cashier: "You follow the Yankees?"
Me: "Giants. A's. Both in first place."
Cashier: "I like the Red Sox. All the Boston teams, really."
Me: "You been?"
Cashier: "No."
Me: "Good time to be rooting for them anyway. Thanks for telling me."
Madeleine: "What were you guys talking about?"
Me: "Baseball. He likes the Red Sox."
Madeleine: "Everybody wants to live in America."
Me: "Yep."

Monday, April 28

Into The Void

vs. Walton Casuals

Disaster strikes as Madeleine's mobile passcode fails and we must reset her phone. She enters a social void, helpless, floating between texts and SMS's that she cannot grasp. Spinning towards, then away, towards, and away from earth, Madeleine breathes to control her emotions, fighting the blackness .. . that.. awaits. her.  

But success: her new account is set up and she is back online. 

Sunday, April 27

C'est Chic

Eitan does some shopping at Primark (Sunglasses by Aneta).

Well, since Sunday, that can only mean Sonnet and Madeleine are at an all-day swimming gala (Madeleine swims 5 races) and Eitan and I at a football match (Sheen Lions 1, Walton Casuals 1; Eitan's winning goal glances off the top goal post, so close, so close).  I leave for Paris in an hour or so.

Saturday, April 26

Talking Heads

What a great album cover.

I revisit the Talking Heads and am stuck on their second album 'More Songs About Buildings and Food' which was released in '78. The songs are bass funky and David Byrnes voice unique but what strikes me is how suited the songs are (or were) for Silicon Valley : intelligent and rarely about love and the usual fall backs.  Instead the band tackles the mundane with heavy insight. They are geeky.

More Songs was not a commercial success - it reached 29th on the Albums - yet Rolling Stones ranked the album 382 on its 500 greatest album of all time.

"A straight line exists between me and the good things.
I have found the line and its direction is known to me.
Absolute trust keeps me going in the right direction.
Any intrusion is met with a heart full of the good thing."
--David Byrne, The Good Thing, 'More Songs About Buildings and Food'

Horse Parade

One never knows what one will find in this city.

The Official Website of the British Monarch tells us that the Changing of the Guards at Buckingham Palace takes place as follow:
February 2014 - even days (ie 2, 4, 6, etc.)
March 2014 - even days (2, 4, 6, etc.) PLUS 31 March
April 2014 - every day
May 2014 - every day
June 2014 - every day


We are at the VA Friday evening with friends and it is quite the scene: attractive crowd, bar and DJ spinning electronic Buddha loud enough to be uncomfortable. In short, perfect date venue for the young and broke. Fridays the museum open until late.

Thursday, April 24

Let's Do The Time Warp Again

At Hampton School

We re enter the work-school time warp. 

Our return to the UK not without incident as the car breaks down at Bayeaux (The Bayeux Tapestry btw one of the supreme achievements of the Norman Romanesque and tells the story of Norman's conquest of England in 1070. We check it out) on Easter Monday, everything deserted. Thanks to Sonnet's cool hand, we find a 24/7 mechanic who is also the mayor of his small village Sainte-Honorine-des-Pertes. So we are in good hands. One day later we are on our way. All's well that ends well.

I am reminded of a stormy winter visit to the Sierras and Moe drops the car key in a snow pack alongside my parents' house. Somehow, at Midnight, we find a local who is able to match the car and the key (which has never been found despite 25 years looking). 

Sunday, April 20

Pâques

The neighboring church bells go bonkers at 10AM.

Meanwhile, the kids under strict guidance : two hours of revision a day, which they are allowed to break into two blocks of one hour. Eitan has an agenda to the half-hour focused on the sciences : he does algebra and geometry in maths, light refractions in physics and the heart/ circulation for biology (he draws a heart, full scale, which we discuss over steak, medium rare).

Madeleine's recent school card includes all 2s and 1s (on a scale of 1-4) which was her stated objective upon entering Emanuel.  My closet nerd.

In the UK, the only school data that counts are the GSCEs, a standardised exam taken around 10th grade covering the first three or four years of secondary school, and the A levels at the end of secondary school, securing one's spot in university. The Brits, I observe, like most, cram. They find it a bit potty to study in between.

Saturday, April 19

Fontenay

We are staying in a property that dates to the 12th century and formally a monastery - one room, the chapel, has traces of ancient fresco's. Over the centuries, the house has been expanded and modernised. Somewhat. The stone walls are 61 cm thick for the oldest sections; I throw logs into a huge fireplace and let her roar.

Madeleine: "Can we get a cow for the backyard?"
Me: "A cow?"
Madeleine: "It would eat all the grass and spread its lovely fertiliser."
Me: "Not going to happen."

Me: "How about visiting Abbaye du Mont-Saint-Michel?"
Madeleine: "What?! There's a church right next to us!"
Me: "It's something I'd like to see."
Madeleine, grumbling: "There goes the fun from the rest of the day."

Me: "Let's go to the D-Day Airborne Museum in St Maire Eglise."
Eitan, Madeline: "No! No!"
Me: "Come on, it's not that bad."
Madeleine: "Yeah, for you."
Me: "If you guys aren't excited by a bunch of men fighting for the existence of the free world then I don't know what."
Eitan: "We learn about it in school, anyway."
Me: "So?"
Eitan: "It's not like it's new or something."

Friday, April 18

Omaha Beach Post D-Day


The invasion of Normandy saw 153k Allied troops land on a 50-mile stretch of beach (Utah, Omaha, Gold, Juno and Sword) delivered by 5,400 ships and landing craft, 50,000 vehicles and 11,000 planes. The US suffered 6,603 casualties including 1,465 killed (far fewer than expected).

Madeleine at the Friday market in Vologne: "Can we buy those crabs and lobsters and set them free in the ocean ?"
Me: "No way."
Madeleine: "Come on, Dad, you'll be a hero to these sea creatures."
Me: "Not going to happen."

Omaha Beach

D Day, June 6, 1944
We are at Omaha Beach and the American Cemetery and it is comforting to be an American on American soil (gifted "in perpetuity" by the French) and surrounded by Americans (talking about breakfast). There is a new visiting center (new since I was last here) that offers a shallow but enjoyable overview of events from Sept 3, 1939, when Britain and France declared war on Germany until D-Day. Most moving are personal recordings from the men in the infantry, on the ground, in the bombers, dropped by parachute and charging the beach.

Sadly no veterans.

Thursday, April 17

Peddlerama

Madeleine: "What would take longer? Moving a pile of sand ten meters one grain at a time. Or digging a hole through a mountain using a needle. Or moving a well using a pipette?"
Me: "It's the age old question."
Eitan: "Definitely the mountain. That is like a lifetime."
Sonnet: "That's like two lifetimes."
Madeleine: "I think it would be quickest to move the well, and the mountain the longest."
Me:
Madeleine: "And the sand a pain in the butt."
Me: "Oh?"
Madeleine: "What if you lose the sand or something ?"
Me: "Makes sense."

Le Foot


And where would Eitan be without a football ?

Aneta reports on the pets: "Rusty is great! Likes to bark until 2AM almost every night. Turtle and fish is luckily still alive too."

Endless Beach

Cap de Carteret

Today we visit Carteret, on the west coast of the Cotentin peninsula, which has a salty, Atlantic feel. Flat sands stretch seven miles from Cap de Carteret, where we are, to Point Rozel or as far as the eye can see. The beach is wild and nameless (and protected), backed by miles of dunes, empty but for clouds of terns and a handful of walkers. It is almost our own.

Sonnet: "When I was your age, I had eight teeth pulled." [Dad's note: Sonnet had poor teeth]
Madeleine: "That must have hurt. " 
Sonnet: "I had lots of painkillers."
Madeleine: "I hate it when people collect old teeth."
Me: "They really do that?"
Madeleine: "Yes. I've seen it."
Me: "Well, you'll never guess what Gracie keeps. Above the fireplace."
Madeleine: "What ?"
Me: "Bateson." [Dad's note: Bateson was the beloved family dog, esp. loved by Grace]
Madeleine: "What!? I thought he was dead!"
Me: "His ashes."
Madeleine: "Oh. Aren't their two of them? Urns, I mean ?" 
Me: "And who do you think is in the other one?"
Madeleine: Eitan, Sonnet:
Me: "Your great Grandmother!"
Madeleine: "Oh My God!"
Sonnet: "Don't do that to the kids, really."
Madeleine: "Yeah. You can stop laughing Dad."

Wednesday, April 16

Utah Beach

bombs away

We visit Utah Beach, which was the code name for the right flank of the Allied landing beaches on D Day, 6 June 1944 - this is the 60th anniversary year. Utah was added late in the planning and only when more landing craft became available - Ike coveted the deep water ports at nearby Cherbourg which could take supply ships.

The non descript sandy beach is narrow unless the tide out, which adds 1 km (my estimate).  On a sunny peaceful day, like today, it is hard to imagine machines moving and men fighting for their lives.

The remembrances are simple with several statues and a plaque or two; a French and American flag are at full mast. There is a simple museum (groans from the Shakespeares).  Sadly missing are the Veterans. When Tim and I in Normandy 12 years ago we met a bunch of them, now many or most are gone.

"Plans are nothing; planning is everything."
--Dwight D Eisenhower

Tuesday, April 15

The Cows Come Home


Eitan: "And we're off for another Orenstein family vacation."

Somewhere In Normandy


Sonnet: "I remember a vacation in Ireland with the Orenstein family. Grace planned it for a year, and we went all around, staying in many beautiful places."
Me: "That was a fun trip . .. "
Sonnet: "My esteem for the Orensteins went up when we got a flat tire and - lickety split - Grace, Katie and Jeff got out and fixed it in 15 minutes. My family would have waited 3 hours for AAA."
Madeleine: "You fixed the tire?"
Me: "We did. We had a spare."
Madeleine: "What would happen if two tires went flat and you didn't have a spare ?"
Me: "You'd be out of luck."
Madeleine: "How about if the non-driving tires went out?"
Me: "You mean on a two wheel drive?"
Madeleine: "Yeah. Could you still drive the car?"
Me: "Probably not."
Madeleine: "How about only one then ?"
Me: "Well, the car might tilt a bit. It would be pretty uncomfortable if you were sitting in the back seat."
Madeleine: "So you could do it then."
Me: "If a four-wheel car, then no. If a three wheel car - yes."
Madeleine: "Thought so."

Monday, April 14

Astorg Partners

Dinner at the musée Jacquemart André

School's Out

Madeleine and Zara at Kew Gardens.

Me: "'The Women In Black' is not scary." [Dad's note: Eitan thinks the movie "The Woman In Black" is a scary movie.]
Eitan: "Well it's scarier than Psycho. Or Jaws."
Me: "Yeah, that's because you watched Jaws in the living room and not in the ocean."
Madeleine: "What?! You watched Jaws in the ocean?"
Me:
Eitan: "It wasn't scary."

Sunday, April 13

Sarko

Me and Aneta

So I meet President Sarkozy last week in Paris and he is remarkable. Sure, one expects the charisma, but Sarkozy able to site history inter-twined with the leaders and events he knows or has influenced. Further, he is direct in his comments, no wishy washy here : Putin and Russia humiliated in the 20th Century and Sochi a slight too far : the Ukraine crisis a total misunderstanding of history.  Crimea is Russian, let them have it. The euro will last, the alternative is war, even if Europe's growth anaemic .. . France will collapse before she becomes better, perhaps social upheaval.

Plus the guy loves California.

What's not to like ?

And The Mini Marathon

Birdcage walk

Eitan runs a hard race placing somewhere in the top 30 (my estimate). His unofficial time around 17:30 for three miles.

Wilson Kipsang of Kenya wins the men's race in 2:04.29 (London course record) and Edna Kiplagat, also of Kenya, the women's in 2:20.21.

Mo finishes in at 2:08.20 - not a bad debut - but he says moments after ward interviewed by the BBC (barely in a sweat): "Bit of a disappointment. But you try new things. Live and learn." Just another day at the office.

London Marathon

Today is Marathon Day and Eitan and Zac line up for the "London Mini Marathon" which is the last three miles of the long race.  The boy picked up in Twickenham, 6:30AM sharp, and delivered to the start-line with Team Richmond.  His goal to be in the top 10.

Today's race includes Kenya's Wilson Kipsang, the marathon world record-holder, Ugandan world and Olympic champion Stephen Kiprotich, defending London Marathon champion Tsegaye Kebede, of Ethiopia, and Kenyan Emmanuel Mutai, the London course record-holder and our very own beloved Mo Farah.

Paris In Springtime

Tuileries

I'm in Paris for the season's change and it is lovely.

Astorg's annual meeting takes place at some marvelous places: the Automobile Club on the place de la Concorde (Wednesday) followed by a gala dinner at musée Jacquemart André; Musée des Arts Décoratifs overlooking jardin tuileries and the sun takers  (Thursday) then dinner at la Tour d’Argent offering a magnificent view of Notre Dame from five stories up. Splendid.

And what have I missed at home? Madeleine: "Nothing."

"When spring comes to Paris the humblest mortal alive must feel that he dwells in paradise."
--Henry Miller from 'Tropic of Capricorn"

Tuesday, April 8

Streamline

Eitan, 200m freestyle

Following five weekends of competing at Guildford and Crystal Palace in individual and relay events, WSC finish 3rd in the medals and 5th in Tinlin Trophy.  Not bad for a reasonably small club (ca 150 swimmers) and achieved by just over 30 swimmers competing at the Championships.  The team scoops 31 medals including Eitan's bronze in the 200m fly.  The boy also set PBs in the butterfly and freestyle events.

Monday, April 7

Aneta

At the NPG

We join Tab and David who host the Sapersteins in Bath.  Now I am in Paris.  Eitan up at 4:30AM for a class trip to Barcelona, where he will be until Thursday.

Madeleine organising afternoons with her friends.

Peaches is dead.

"Peaches has died. We are beyond pain. She was the wildest, funniest, cleverest, wittiest and the most bonkers of all of us. Writing 'was' destroys me afresh."

--Bob Geldof

Saturday, April 5

Me And Andy Warhol

Photo by David Bailey

And so it is Friday, an exhausting exhilarating week for Sonnet whom I and we could not be more proud of.

Stan, Aneta and I meet Jeanine, Sunny and Leon+Westlee for lunch at the Portrait Gallery Restaurant.

Leon continues to take beautiful photographs using swaths of light; his studio set up in Oakland while he keeps a foot in Paris.

Beforehand, Guy and I have lunch with Diana, a sworn progressive who was heavily involved in Obama's first campaign and on the Council of the Holocaust Memorial in Washington DC.  She is a force of nature, too, and perfectly matched with Guy on politics, insider connections and a desire to make things better.

Friday, April 4

Pre Show

The private viewing and reception fills the museum with the great and the good. Stan watches over the Shakespeares who mill about perfectly awkward, the little dears. They blitz the exhibition in two minutes and ready to split at 9PM.  We stay until the end then dinner with Spencer and Alex. Top evening.

The Sapersteins arrive from Northern California and we are honoured that they are with us. Guy wears Armani.

Thursday, April 3

On The Board


Madeleine, Aneta and I sit around watching Modern Family and eating ice cream (thank you, Aneta). Before dinner. Madeleine has seen every episode of Modern Family, too - she says, 'more than a hundred ' - and never gets bored (today the first day of Easter Break so plenty of time to go comatose)

Me: "Do you have any gay friends?"
Aneta: "Like five of them."
Me: Men or women?"
Aneta: "Men."
Me: "Cool, every girl should have a gay friend. Sonnet does. Madeleine do you have one?"
Madeleine: "Huh?"
Me: "A gay friend. Do you have one ?"
Madeleine: "No."
Me: "How would you know?"
Madeleine: "I have no idea."
Me: "Right answer. Let's keep it that way."