Smooth Criminal

Madeleine bakes ginger bread cookies which, she notes, "Is the hardest cookie I have ever made. And I have made loads of cookies."

Me: "What are you doing?"
Eitan: "Don't have a cow Dad. I'm only playing."
Me: "With red play dough? In the living room?"
Eitan: "It's not like any of it has fallen on the carpet."
Me: "Let me paint you a scenario. Me:  'How did this play dough get into the carpet? It's ruined. Eitan! No football for the rest of the season!' You: 'waa waa waaa . . ..'  I just saved you a lot of hardship, mister. "
Eitan: "I don't cry like that. That is how Madeleine cries."
Madeleine: "Huh?"
Me: "Eitan, were I you, I would quit while I was ahead."