Eat Cake

Eitan decides to bake one cake a month - pictured, May : double layer yellow cake with strawberry jam and whip cream topping. Being Eitan, he makes a list for each month.

Me: "Ok, Madeleine, it's 9PM. What does that mean?"

Madeleine: "It doesn't make a difference to me."

Me: "Bedtime?"

Madeleine: "Yes. It doesn't make a difference to me."

Me:

Eitan, from the back seat, with Jack, on our way to a football match: "Just don't do anything to embarrass me, Dad."

Me: "Embarrass you? Why would I ever do that?"

Eitan: "Don't do that stretching you always do. Like when you sit down and point your arms out."

Me: "Why do you care?"

Eitan: "Just don't do it."

Me: "I'll do it if I want to."

Eitan: "Dad!"

Jack: "Does your dad always do stuff like that?"

Eitan: "I wish he wasn't my Dad."

Me: "You should be glad that I take care of myself. At least I'm not smoking cigarettes and watching TV."

Eitan: "None of the other dads are, like, lying on the ground and pulling their legs up."

Me: "Sorry, kiddo, you're stuck with me."

Eitan: "And whatever you do, don't speak."

Me: "Don't speak?"

Eitan: "Yes. It is embarrassing."

Me: "Well thank you for the feedback from the peanut gallery."

Eitan: "See?"