'Sup

Pity the lad, pictured, who has been away from football for three weeks. He begs to be on my notebook to watch games or memorise fixtures, update himself of the Premiere League which (he pleads) "is starting now !" Is there no break? Apparently not and Eitan rattles off the various trophies: Champions League, FA Cup, Carling Cup, Premiere League and the UEFA Cup - I can't keep them apart. Which is the most important, you wonder? Eitan: "Champions League, definitely, because it is the top-four teams from all the best leagues in Europe - from the Big Countries like Russia and France and Italy. You know, the one's that are famous." Hmm. Pictured, he rattles off every player from Manchester United and lesser teams in thePremiereship. I quiz him about the best player in each position. And the best player in the world? Messi. Not Rooney? "It depends if he gets his form back. If he doesn't, it is Rinaldo. Actually, they are tied."

And there you have it.

Eitan: "Dad, do you want to see how Rooney does his run-ups?" (He charges the ball, kicking it into the living room wall)

Me: "Knock it off!"

Madeleine: "If you get it in (ie, hit the wall) you get a buddy. Two buddies!"

Eitan: "Ok, but I only need one." (he gets down on his hands and knees to eye his shot)

Me:

Eitan: "Dad. Dad! I had to get the ball right between Madeleine's hands and guess what I just did?"

Me:

Eitan: "I got it in!"

Me: "Did I just say something before?"

Madeleine: "You are always boasting, Eitan."

Eitan: "Not!"

Madeleine: "Too!"

Me: