Water

Yes, the spa has a pool and Eitan is excited. Friday we swim two-hours in the morning and two hours in the afternoon. They. .. never . ... grow . . . tired . . . . Both show me their racing dives which amount to a jump (Madeleine) or belly-flop (Eitan). They goof with kick-boards and other floaties while I have fun tossing them about or carrying each on my shoulders. Pruny fingers and boredom (me) drag us away. Finally.

On to football: Eitan is transfixed by Manchester United, whose win today closes the gap with Arsenal who draw with Birmingham City. As we glossy readers know, United's star striker Wayne Rooney will marry grade-school sweetheart Coleen, who is planning the wedding and, surprise shocker, Wayne's family - not invited! Coleen has learned her lesson: her eighteenth birthday saw both sides of the family in a fist fight (Wayne's family are amateur boxers); her 21st found Wayne's cousin Natalie famously out of her dress (weeks later, Natalie underwent a boob job, upping herself from 34C to a more media friendly 34FF, noting "I'll be getting them out all over the place"). Wayne's cousin Stephen is on record wearing knickers ("If Coleen wants me as a bridesmaid then she won't be let down. I've been hitting all the shops"). Egad. Worse, Eitan sees David Beckham wearing an Armani bikini on the back of some mag. For the boy, it remains somehow about the football. Me, I just want a World Cup.