The King

Eitan Self Portrait

Eitan experiments with grapefruit juice in his hair.

I've had a pretty good lesson in human nature. It's more important to try to surround yourself with people who can give you a little happiness, because you only pass through this life once, Jack. You don't come back for an encore.
--Elvis Presley

Golden Gate Bridge

Normal Distribution

Any MBA knows that in many natural processes random variation conforms to a particular probability distribution known as the normal distribution, pictured.  It is also called a "bell curve".

I think about this on the last (painful) mile of a three-mile race this morning : 15 years ago I won "The Media Challenge", a 3-miler in Manhattan's Central Park.  Today, I am probably one standard deviation ahead of the mean at or ca. 84% of the 300 or so runners. My time of 20 minutes about four minutes slower than '94.

The bell curve catching up : I can no longer jump into a 5K or 10K and expect to be competitive simply, because, well - why not?  It is difficult to re-calibrate times from years ago and I have yet to consider myself a "master" runner. Somewhere in me there are some best times left. Otherwise what's the point?

But today's race for fun and, anyway, I am ten kilos over fighting weight.  I don't push into another gear towards the finish instead happy to finish with some dignity (Rusty drags me along the first mile and I drag him the second half).  All in all, all good.

First Phone

Madeleine gets a mobile and somehow, just like that, we have a second adolescent in the house.  Her response: "whoopie!"

Madeleine sends me a text: Hi dad ;)
Me, that evening: "To think, I received your very first text."
Madeleine: "Actually I sent one to mom first."
Me: "Wow, I got your second text. .."
Madeleine: "I sent one to Eitan. And Zebulon too."
Me: "Was I in the top ten?"
Madeleine: "And Zakki. Oh, and Auntie Katie. Plus I sent mom three texts before you. And also Marcus."
Me:  "Well good to know you were thinking of me any way."
Madeleine: "Sure, Dad. I am saving everybody into my phone."
Me:
Madeleine: "What's your number again?"

Bake Off

Our fabulous friend Diana, whose husband Simon introduced me to Kayaking, spends the afternoon with Madeleine baking (says our gal: "It was really, really fun. We made the best sponge cake"). The last time it was bagels and before that, home-made pasta. Diana from NY and spent some time in Los Angeles as the food critic for the LA Times. More recently, Diana acepted to the UCL (University College London) Drama School for a degree in puppetry. We love this.

Eitan sells Madeleine his old goalie gloves, a bouncy ball, a poster and his wristband for 90p. Madeleine notes "I needed the goalie gloves."

Camera 101

Since I take a bunch of photos, many of them crap (see below), I attend a one-day photography course an Wimbledon.  In this shot I practise depth of field - the black dude pretty buff for 12 inches.  Thank you mom and  dad for the perfect birthday present.

Madeleine: "Is Google the Internet?"
Me: "No, Google is a search engine. You can put anything in the little bar and Google will take you there. It's how you enter the web."
Madeleine: "So Google is the web?"
Me: " No. Imagine a spider's web. . ."
Madeleine:
Me: "Everything inter-connected. And Google is like a door."
Madeleine: "A door to a spider's web?"
Me: "Well, no, but it's one way to get connected."
Madeleine: "To Google?"
Me: "Yes."
Madeleine: "And the Internet."
Me: "Yes."
Madeleine: "So Google is the Internet?"
Me: "Let's start over."

Madeleine: "Ollie had his mobile phone hacked and they locked up his games and music and stuff for 40 years."
Me: "No, way. Is he going to wait that long?"
Madeleine: "No. But he had to wipe out everything and start all over."
Me: "Disaster."
Madeleine: "I'll say. It's dangerous for a kid."
Me: "You bet it is."

Rush .. .

.. . hour. When I go into town, usually a couple times a week, I avoid the peak times, like now, pictured at Waterloo station. Mortlake station, where I begin my journey, rarely offers a free seat which means 25 minutes standing next to the dude who reads the paper and the mum who taps on her iphone. Sometimes I arm myself with a coffee and do some minor work on my bb.  Or I watch sprawling urban London go by : in Clapham there are rows of undulating terraced houses ; at Queenstown, the Battersea Power Station. And always the Thames.

Waterloo the train terminus and the commuters walk with purpose, usually to the Underground for Green Park or The City or who knows ? Waterloo station enjoyed 91 million passenger entries and exits from April 2010 to March 2011, easily busiest railway point in Britaiin; the station one of the busiest passenger terminals in Europe - it has more platforms and greater floor area than any other in the UK (but Clapham Junction has the largest number of trains). It is the terminus of a network of railway lines from Surrey, Berkshire, Hampshire, South West England and the south-western suburbs of London.

Old Friend

This sequoia about 5,000 miles from its natural habitat.  Me and him both baby.

I return to the ENT as my voice gravelly again.  And me, a salesman.  I see the very capable Mr Ahmed who informs me that he will stick a cable down my nasal passage to look at my voice box.  Unlike the last time, he offers no local anaesthetic nor gel : "I do this all the time" Ahmed says.  "If it becomes too unbearable we can stop." I mean, what's his threshold for pain ? The Indians eat chili's that make the rest of us blow up from agony.  The cable feels like something, well, jammed eight inches into my head and, weirdly, there is a sensation in my lower throat only it is behind my throat. This becomes apparent when Ahmed asks me to count to three and I produce a pitiful gargle. At this point I am sweating and have my answer to the  Lethal Weapon question (Every dude wonders, from the comfort of his home or theatre, whether he can endure the electrocution inflicted on Mel Gibson graphically presented in the movie). I would last 30 seconds.

The good news : no pallops. I may have to do some speech therapy but no need for another operation.

One Mo

Mo Farah takes the 10k-5k double transcending sport (photo Getty Images).  Bolt finishes his career by anchoring the Jamaican 4X100 relay in world record time.  The British net 64 medals including 29 gold. The Underground survives. Even the weather pretty good.  This has been one heck of a games. I am sad to see them end and wonder : what to marvel, complain, discuss and commiserate and bitch about now ?  Back to the Royal Family I guess.

“Our vision is to present to the world, in 2012, the best Games ever, for athletes, for the Olympic family, for spectators.”

--Lord Coe who, in my book, is The Dude of all things Olympics. He made it happen

Dog Days Of Summer

Dad Being Dad

I appreciate the embarrassment I cause the kids being, just, well, myself.  Of course (I presume) all parents humiliate their children somehow but I do take great enjoyment in seeing their reaction when I sing or act like a monkey or some similar such nonsense.  At some point one realises : it just does not matter but for the Shakespeares, it matters a whole lot.  I'm doing my best anyway.

We are in Kew Gardens and Sonnet and I reminisce about summers long past when, to escape the heat, we would visit here in the late evening for an outside dinner under a tree by the sunset.  The kids would crawl about, eat some grass, cry or nap.  Sometimes all four inside thirty minutes.  That was, like, another world.

Football Final - Mexico 2, Brazil 1

Last photo of the Olympics.  This one from Wembley stadium and the men's football final.  Some English dudes behind us pull for Mexico so they can yell "gringo" over and over and over.

Eitan: "I am going to do some chores. For money". [Dad's note: Eitan wants to buy an iPod].
Me: "I am good with that. How about you do the backyard?"
Eitan: "I will do the dusting for £15 and clean all the windows inside the house."
Madeleine: "£15 !?"
Me: "How about £5?"
Eitan: "Then I just won't do it."
Me: "Or you will do it for free since it's a chore."
Eitan:
Madeleine: "£15. Really, Eitan."
Sonnet: "Why don't you think about it a little bit and come back to me with a proposal this afternoon."
Eitan: "OK."
Madeleine: "I can't believe you wanted £15 just to do the dusting."

Jack And Team USA

Jack is a good little dude.  He is over to our place following 6 hours of football camp.

We attend the women's Olympics football final between Japan and the US (the crowd chants: "USA! USA! USA!"). This a rematch of the 2011 championships which the Americans lost to Japan in a thrilling match; this time, though, it is the other way around, 2-1, and the girls bask in the after-glow, running around the pitch with American flags, clapping at us fans (the Japanese cry then the team, including coaches, assistants and back-ups bow, in unison, to the stands).  American goalkeeper Hope Solo spots me in the crowd and winks: "this one for you sexy boy" she whispers.

Madeleine: "Do you think I will get a ball?"
Me: "You mean like from the match?"
Madeleine: "Yeah, I got two that last time." [Dad's note: we were at the UEFA women's club championships at Fulham where Madeleine sat behind the goal box; there was no netting and Madeleine did, indeed, catch two balls.. .which were duly returned to the ref.]
Me: "If there are 80,000 fans what are the chances of you getting a ball?"
Madeleine: "um 1 in 80,000?"
Me: "Good but can you be more specific?"
Madeleine:
Me: "How many balls make it to the stands?"
Madeleine: "I don't know 10?"
Me: "And will they reach the upper decks?"
Madeleine: "No. .."
Me: "Let's assume they only hit the first rows or maybe ten percent. So that's 8,000 fans."
Madeleine: "Can't I just watch Dad?"
Me: "But the balls probably only go behind the goalines."
Madeleine:
Me: "which we can assume is 25% of the lower stadium's circumference.. . so that might be about 2,000 people."
Madeleine: "I really don't care Dad."
Me: "If there are ten balls into the stands, a lot I suggest, what is the chance of a fan getting one?"
Madeleine: "20? 40? Who cares?"
Me: "It would be 10/2,000 or 1 in 200. What's that as a percent?"
Madeleine:
Me: "Is it more or less than 1%?"
Madeleine: "Please, Dad, I'm begging you."
Me: "Pay attention, kid, you need to know these things."
Madeleine: "Maybe you do."

Day 11

Evening session, track and field.

Announcer: "Here's the situation in the high jump. There are three men still alive."
Madeleine: "What!?" 
Sonnet: "It's just an expression."

Football Camp

I pick up Eitan and Madeleine from football camp.

Madeleine: "What happens if I don't finish 'The Hobbit' by Thursday?"
Me: "Then no football final."
Madeleine: "I have, like, 200 pages. I won't be able to finish it by then."
Me: "Too bad. America v Japan, too. It's gonna be huge."
Madeleine: "I haven't had any time to read though."
Me: "Those are the breaks. Welcome to the real world."
Madeleine: "That's your world."
Me: "Disappointment, misery, failure. Prepare yourself, kid."
Madeleine: "That's your world, Dad."

Madeleine: "How long will they keep those flags in the park?" (Dad's note: giant Olympics flag poles placed around Richmond Park for the cycling)
Me: "I don't know."
Eitan: "They are not natural."
Madeleine: "Not everything in the park is natural, Eitan."
Eitan: "Other than the roads and the benches."
Madeleine: "And the two houses.  And the fences."
Eitan: "There are more trees and grass than fences."
Me: "Do you guys like to argue? Because this is the dumbest conversation I've ever heard."
Madeleine: "Yeah, I guess so Dad."
Me: "Katie and I used to argue about the same kinda stuff I suppose."
Eitan, Madeleine:
Me: "Maybe not though."

Rusty Blues

The dog plants his face in the food bowl, looking over at me every now and again as though to suggest he knows the absurdity of his circumstances, but really he is just hungry and this the best 30 seconds of his day.  We've been out running - 6AM! - with Andrew whose dog 'Buddy' a natural companion for Rusty and us.  A black lab, Buddy better trained which is noted as we spot deer and Rusty bolts in hot pursuit (deer try to stomp dogs and can easily crack their spine) and me in pursuit of Rusty (God damn dog).  Neither Rusty nor Buddy can resist squirrels : the little flicking tales .. scampering across their field of vision .. . racing turns then up a tree lightening-quick.  Engaging like a video game. A chase of inches, Rusty has yet to catch one in the park.

The Shakespeares drag their feet on "The Hobbit" (Madeleine) and "Huckleberry Finn" (Eitan). I take drastic measures : no Olympics - specifically, no football finals - unless the books read. Eitan plays it cool and ignores my ultimatum (he knows how to get my goat); Madeleine bemoans "200 pages! I can't possibly do that much by Friday" as the boob tube radiates behind her. I have little sympathy as this task due last week.

Our new au pair Aneta settles in.

All American

Dale and family in town from TX for the Olympics where they will spend the rest of the day. Ben (middle) a budding running star and we do a loop of Richmond Park and I try to keep up.  He is of that wonderful age when sports and puberty collide : his aim to hit 4:10 in the mile before college.  When not running, and since summer, Ben works at a pretzel stand at the Austin mall.  I send him "Fast Times At Ridgement High".

Day eight of the Smörgåsbord : swimming's conclusion and Michael Phelp's last race ever (gold in the 4X100 medley relay), gymnastics, diving (what bodies), wrestling .. water polo, ping pong, judo and beach volleyball. .. the velodrome and , of course, athletics : Jessica Ennis, Greg Rutherford anad Mo Farah take gold in the Hep, long-jump and 10K respectively (the press calls it the "greatest day in British sports history"). The BBC records it all across 20 dedicated channels. TGP (Team GB or Team Great Britain) takes six golds on "Super Saturday" and, at this stage, 29 medals overall trailing only the US and China. Compare this to Atlanta in '96 : one.
Boy it is going to be some bummer when the games end and we are back to reality.  But let us focus instead on the men's 100m final and Usain Bolt, which is in several hours.

"This is U.S. History, I see the globe right there."
--Spicoli

Mexican Horse

Sonnet, Madeleine and I at the Lisboa cafe on the Golborne Rd which has the best pastries in London. We stuff our faces with intermittent bites of fried-pork sandwiches , custard tarts and coffee.

Golborne intersects Portalla Road which cuts across Notting Hill and home to a notable saturdaay market known for second-hand clothes and antiques.  I once came here for light blue and other shades of corduroy trouser - now that seems like a different life.  Sonnet once came home with a large painting that was with us for years : I stopped an often-used joke - "that's a lot of art for £20" - when I learned, post facto, a guest collected Freuds and Twomblys.  Today Madeleine finds a jackass for 50p, pictured.  Bargain.

Eitan at the Olympic Stadium to see the prelims of the 100m track : Bolt, Gay, Powell, Blake and Chambers.  Bolt show-boats and runs 10.08 , good enough for the semi-finals. His ticket a gift from the Richmond council, who the boy represented in the British under-16s running championships earlier this year.

Next Stop Mars

Kubrik's classic from '68 - hard to believe - and perhaps at the peak of our technology optimism with films like Logan's Run and Star Wars to come.

I am following NASA's $2.5B Mars landing "Curiosity" on twitter.  This is real sci-fi stuff : to drop the one-ton probe on Mars (distance 352 millions miles from Earth), Curiosity separates from its spacecraft and enters Mars' atmosphere at 13,200mph; it has 78 miles to decelerate for a soft landing . . .peak temperatures reach 3,800F.  Thrusters ignite to halt spin and engage heat shields while friction slows the vehicle by 90%; further thrusters keep the capsule on track.  A parachute deploys to slow the descent further.  Four minutes into landing procedures the heat shield separates and radar looks for a landing surface (5 miles out, 280mph).  The back-shell, with parachute attached, jettisons and eight rockets fire for the final manoeuvre (1 mile, 180mph).

Within 100 feet a skycrane spools out nylon cords to lower Curiosity onto Mars. Once touchdown, the cords sever and the skycrane flies away to crash nearby.

It kind of makes me wonder why I have such a hard time clearing the garage or, for that matter, doing anything.