Kung Fu Fighter

Sonnet takes the kids to Mike's Farm this AM to see the agriculture while I do some work and mess around with this blog. Upon their return, we go for a dip and Eitan discovers the Power Of The Force. Wearing his (over-sized)bath robe, we practice Kung Fu ("Master Eitan we are wise in the ways of the Kung Fu warrior" I say). He loves this and we goof around the otherwise empty hotel. This afternoon we will drop the Little Shakespeares with the Grandparents and head for the Beaumont Hotel in Ridgewood - an award winning, restored Victorian that has been serving the Rockies since the late 19th century.

He Must Be A Republican

Rep. Don Young, Republican - Alaska, is under federal investigation along with Senator Stevens, also from Alaska. Further discrediting himself and the state, Young was forced by House GOP leader John Boehner to apologies to his Republican colleague Scott Garrett from New Jersey. Garrett had the audacity to oppose an appropriation for Native Alaskans which may have included the Bridge To Nowhere. Said Don: "There is always another day when those who bite will be killed, too, and I am very good at that. Those that bite me will be bitten back." Though their families are not related, Stevens and Young share the same gene pool. Go figure.

Uncompahgre

Sonnet, Marcus and I drive through the Grand Mesa and the Uncompahgre National Forrest in a day that starts early and ends at Ouary, a small town famous for its hot springs. In the middle, we go off-piste taking Route 97 at Naturia which eventually becomes gravel then dirt. The countryside is red and orange and dramatic before it comes to a Dead End, to our surprise. We drive by Telluride, Placerville and Ridgeway which offer different vistas of the Rockies. Eitan and Madeleine spend the day with Mr. And Mrs. Stanfill, who reports that "the children behaved wonderfully." The main stop on the day was the Russel Stover chocolate factory - which strikes the kids bug-eyed. As for the Ouary natural baths: think "dangly bits."

Corn competition!

The corn eating competition kicks off at 1430 sharp in two heats: ten men and ten women, head-to-head. With eight minutes on the clock, eaters showcase various styles from the famous "type-writer" to the more modern "shear". A corn cob must be picked of all kernals and contestants are not allowed to collect a corn pile, ie, they must eat the corn. The ladies share a three-way tie of 13 corn, while the men are dominated by Tiny, a 400 pounder who apparently has won as long as the competition has been held. Tiny devours at least 20 corn but it could be more as several ears are disqualified as "incomplete." His shearing technique strips the vegitable bare and nobody has a chance against him. Tiny competes.

Corn!

The Olatha festival began sixteen years ago and now draws people from far and wide (all hotels in Montrose are full). Last year, 90,000 ears of corn were eaten on the day and this year the goal is to break 100,000. The corn is field-to-mouth in 30 minutes and is pretty damn good. I take notes of what I see and I see a lot of smoking, fat (obesity), baseball or cowboy hats and thongs. No beer or alcohal though due to insurance and family-values, I learn. The folks next to me consume french fries, nachos, syrupy donuts and smokes -- all before 11AM. The younger kids check each other out and the girls show mid-section, sans bra (I notice). There are some great t-shirts: "Kickin' bass", "Gun Control is Using Both Hands" and "Ain't No Red Neckin' Here."

"If I swore you were an angel, would you treat me like the devil tonight?"
Own lyrics by The Vigil Brothers Band, on the Big Stage today

Summer Fair

The Olathe Sweet Corn Festival is today and we make tracks for the Big Show. Olathe is a small town surrounded by, yes, corn fields and ten minutes down the road from Montrose. The day kicks off with the local banks pancake breakfast then transitions over to the football field for the main action. The grounds open at 10AM and some 25,000 people will pass through the welcome gates. The Big Draw this year is country singer LeAnn Rimes, who has soled 37 million records since her debut album "Blue" when she was thirteen. She's now 24 and smokin'. Free BBQ and boiled corn is on offer from sun-up to sun-down and we find a spot on the main field under a sun umbrella but near the main stage. Food stalls, games and commercial stalls surround the turf. The Army has a visible presence hosting a wall-climb and recruiting booth. Madeleine pigs out on a double scoop of strawberry.

Silver

Sonnet's mother received her nick-name, so the story goes, during her birth when Mary D yelled "Hi-Ho Silver!" and the rest is history. She tells me that her outfit includes the two words in the english language which do not rhyme: orange and silver. Sonnet joins Silver for her Friday Ladies-That-Lunch in downtown Montrose. This is a power-center of the community, as far as I can tell, and offers a liberal oasis in an otherwise gun toot'n, Republican vot'n Colorado which BTW otherwise went Demo in '04. I take the kids to - you guessed it! - the p-0-0-l. We get some adult time with Marcus this evening as Stan baby-sits and we go to the movies. Hoo-ray!

Uncle Marcus

Marcus is in from Seattle to see family and regard his fast growing nephew and niece. During the past several years, Marcus has lived in Kathmandu and Kabul, Afghanistan, where he built grade schools for women. This results in a general discussion on Interesting Jobs and Marcus enjoyed a Whopper: transitioning to Seattle, he drove Ronald McDonald, in complete costume, around the state for $16 an hour. Ronald was unable to drive because of his Red Shoes and his contract required him in costume. Plus their Honda had McDonald's decals on the sideboards. The duo would pull into a (small) town and were usually greeted by loud cheers from screaming children packing into a restaurant. On occasion, the franchise owner would not promote the ticket so on entrance adults would turn their heads to see -- what? their strangest dream come true? Now Marcus is a graphics designer and living the good life in WA.

Phil Moyers reports that 45% of Americans support the impeachment of George Bush for wiretapping.

Rockies

My photo at Ralph Lauren's ranch.

Geology

The Rockies are a broad mountain range in western North America. The Rocky Mountains stretch more than 4,800 kilometers (about 3,000 miles) from northernmost British Columbia in Canada, to New Mexico. The highest peak is Mount Elbert, in Colorado, which is 14,440 feet (4,401 meters) above sea level. Mount Robson in BC at 3,954 meters (12,972 feet) is the highest peak in the Canadian Rockies. The Rocky Mountain System within the United States is a U.S. phsiographic region. Though part of the Pacific Cordillera, they are not to be confused with the Pacific Coast Ranges which are located immediately adjacent to the Pacific Coast and where our family has a cabin in Big Trees National Forest.

I'm watching the Giants and waiting for Bonds to hit the Big Number 755.

Telluride

We drive to Telluride with Marcus or about 45 minutes from Montrose on the scenic route. Once there we catch a gondola up the mountain where a friendly ranger tells us that half the bowl was formed by volcanic activity and the rest by plate movement. From our spot, we see the range familiar to every Coors drinker and on each beer can. Nice. I decide to jog from top to town or 10,500 to 8,750 feet. Even downhill its a challenge and my legs are screaming by the time I re-connect with the kids, happily eating ice cream cones. Madeleine asks: "did you see a badger?"

"However, I only applied to one college, the University of Colorado, and I think MIT was the perfect school for me. Maybe that was a mistake."
Steve Wozniak, co-founder Apple Computer

Swim!

The ConocoPhillips USA Swimming National Championships continued with fast swims on the second day of the meet. Superstar Michael Phelps broke the U.S. Open and National meet record in the 200m backstroke (ho hum for Phelps- though interesting because backstroke is a weaker stroke for him), while Dara Torres earned her 14th national title at the age of 40. Yes, 40. I remember her first Olympics in 1984 and she is now on pace for 5 in Beijing. This is unheard of in a sport where burn-out and funding end careers by college's senior year. My swimming days stopped at the Eastern Seaboards, 1986, when I swam for Brown. In high school I completed the distance events, clocking 4:36 and 1:44 for the 500 and 200 yard freestyles, respectively, and 16:02 for the 1650. My 500 was good enough for All American status but swum at Jr Nationals so I missed that trophy. Now, I am content to remember those cold wet mornings and ten mile days. From a chair. Ps thanks for driving us Dad.

Blow dry

We hit the local country store and Sonnet buys some jeans. The kids load up on dirt kickers (red and brown), western shirts and various themed accoutrements (I no can do the cowboy motif). We then hit Walmart to take care of the back-to-school basics (a Montrose Target will open in September). Ain't retail cheap? Otherwise the kids have their swimming lessons followed by some swimming and after that more swimming.

He Must Be A Republican

We know that Senator Ted Stevens from Alaska, a Republican, had his house searched yesterday by the FBI as part of a federal investigation. Stevens is also (in)famous for his pork barrel projects like the $453MM Bridge To No Where linking Ketchikan (population 8,900) with its airport on Gravina Island (population 50). But did you know that Mr. Stevens is a linguist? His explanation of the Internet, extracted from public record and Wired Magazine in October 2005, sheds new terminology - and insight - into the In-tur-net.

"I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?

Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially.

So you want to talk about the consumer? Let's talk about you and me. We use this internet to communicate and we aren't using it for commercial purposes.

We aren't earning anything by going on that internet. Now I'm not saying you have to or you want to discrimnate against those people

The regulatory approach is wrong. Your approach is regulatory in the sense that it says "No one can charge anyone for massively invading this world of the internet". No, I'm not finished. I want people to understand my position, I'm not going to take a lot of time.

They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck.

It's a series of tubes."

Baconator

Bacon is a Big Deal at the hamburger joints in Montrose and Wendy's proudly promotes The Baconator: "Six strips of hickory smoked bacon piled high atop two 1/4 lb. patties of fresh, never frozen, beef. Complete with two slices of American cheese, mayo and ketchup for a mountain of mouth-watering taste. Go on, obsess a little." We head straight for McDonald's. The kids get chicken nuggets and fries while Sonnet and I defer for home-made sandwiches at our hotel.

"It is the Americans who have managed to crown minced beef as hamburger, and to send it round the world so that even the fussy French have taken to le boeuf hache, le hambourgaire."
Julia Child

“It requires a certain kind of mind to see beauty in a hamburger bun.”
Ray Kroc, creator McDonald's

Black Canyon

We visit Black Canyon this afternoon and my photo from the chasm's south end. Black Canyon is about 12 miles outside of Montrose in Gunnison County, CO.

Geology

The Gunnison River drops an average of 43 feet per mile (8 m/km) through the entire canyon, making it one of the steepest river descents in North America. In comparison, the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon drops an average of 7.5 feet per mile (1.4 m/km). The greatest descent of the river occurs in the park at Chasm View dropping 240 feet per mile (45 m/km).

The Black Canyon gets its name on account of its steepness. This steepness makes it difficult for sunlight to penetrate very far down the canyon. As a result, the walls of the canyon are most often draped in shadows, causing the rocky walls to appear black. At its narrowest point the canyon is only 40 feet (12 meters) across at the river.

The area was established as a U.S. National Monument on March 2, 1933 and made into a National Park on October 21, 1999.

Red Letter Day

It is just possible that today Barry Bonds will break Hank Aaron's all-time home run record, New York Mets starter Tom Glavine wins his 300th game and New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodrigues becomes the youngest player (32) to hit his 500th homer. What are the odds of all three on the same day? It boggles the fan's mind. Photo by Thomas Ciszek of Atlantic City Surf pitcher Lincoln Mikkelsen who was the 2006 Sport Ticker Independent Baseball Pitcher of the Year.

Madeleine to Eitan: "You just want a hang nail so you can have all the attention!"

Pretty in Pink

Madeleine at the Stanfill house, Montrose. The BIG plan today is... wait for it... The Simpsons! Both kids wake up with one thing on their mind as they have been promised the movie. Otherwise, I give them chores to do around our suite in return for cash-dollars. Madeleine is eager to have some disposable while Eitan a bit more reserved: "Aw, dad, you can't really be serious!" says he. Strong work ethic in this family clearly. Today we're all excited to see Marcus and perhaps visit the Black Canyon national reserve.

Eitan, two inches from my face, 7:01AM: "Dad will you fix my Spider Man Watch?"

Eitan to me: "Mom said not to disturb you until after 7AM"

Madeleine about a sparrow's nest at Stan/Silver's: "Look at the bird apartment!"

Eitan has some of Stan's cherry pie. Yum. Sadly Bill Walsh is lost to cancer at 75. The Genius took over the ailing San Francisco 49ers in 1978 at about the time I was really getting into football. The 49ers were 2-14 the season before Walsh arrived and 2-14 his first year. Then, in 1979, he drafted a quarterback from Notre Dame named Joe Montana. The 49ers went on to dominate the league with Super Bowl titles in 1981, '84 and '88. Along with Joe, my heroes were Ronnie Lott, Jerry Rice, Gene "Hacksaw" Reynolds and Brent Jones, whose end-zone grab in the final minutes of the '81 NFC Championships sent the Cowboys home. That was an era to be a part of.

He Must Be A Republican

Is there anybody dumb enough not to believe that Gonzales is serving as a shield for Bush? You can just hear the conversation: "Common Alberto, take one for the team. Heck, if it goes wrong I'll just give you a pardon."

Poolside

Surprise! The kids up at the crack of dawn. We arrive yesterday evening and have dinner with Stan and Silver while admiring the mountain views especially pretty at sunset. Eitan and Madeleine have a tour of the Stanfill house and marvel at Silver's flag collection which includes Yugoslavia, Alaska, California and Britain - places where she has taught or studied (women's) literature. Tonight Uncle Marcus arrives from Seattle.